The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.........pulled the starter cord, the Victa started instantly and the Pegasus whipped down the drive befopre he could get in.

Turbo had shut the front gate just in case this happened, so after some more gorilla tape, now with one leg on the step of the Pegasus (which had no floor) he pulled the cord again and nothing happened. Victa owners will be very familiar with the ritual that was about to follow so to prevent tears and sympathy cards we'll move forward to when it finally started, screamed down the drive with Turbo's right leg up in the air as he fell backwards into the seat, and he was able to make the sharp turn and took off in the street. The problem was that having to stay below 20 feet to avoid getting out of the nose and smoke envelope he had to remember every street in order and which side its power lines were on, however he had an enjoyable flight and arrived safely back in his driveway where .......................

[Captain]

Ratso apologizes to our thousands of readers, as the next page syndrome had caught him out again.

Edited October 27, 2021 by Captain

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

however he had an enjoyable flight and arrived safely back in his driveway where .....

.... he ....

[turboplanner]

.saw.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.saw.

.. two ..

[onetrack]

.....Dogs Roofing Company at work on a nearby house, replacing the tiles. Turbo immediately became fascinated by the operation. He'd not known before, how intricate the tiling process was in roofing a tiled house. He grabbed a coffee and sat and watched in awe, as these pro tilers ran back and forth on the roof easily, and seemingly without a care, until..........

[turboplanner]

........they saw Cappy coming over for his morning coffee. It wasn't so much Cappy, but the voluptuous blonde handing off his arm that caused the catastrophe as tilers twisted for a better look from above, slipped and dropped their hods which sent tile crashing down on lower tilers, knocking them over and so on all the way down the gable, followed by the mess as tilers and tiles cascaded off the roof crashing into all the tradies dogs sleeping on the sand below. This was followed by ........

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This was followed by ......

..... the scandalous example involving the company's name, and as Cappy's voluptuous blonde sidekick dragged herself up onto her knees in the pile of brickies' sand, the dogs saw their opportunity and m.......

[CT9000]

7 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... the scandalous example involving the company's name, and as Cappy's voluptuous blonde sidekick dragged herself up onto her knees in the pile of brickies' sand, the dogs saw their opportunity and m.......

......oved out of the way as every one else pondered over just how much damage a light touch and go from an ultralight on a tiled roof can do......

[bull]

7 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......oved out of the way as every one else pondered over just how much damage a light touch and go from an ultralight on a tiled roof can do......

.and as all these everyone else where not even on the roof ,nor even in the local area and the attempt to blame an "ultralight " for a work place accident caused by the loss of attention to safety by said workers by attempting to obtain a better view of the said Voluptuous blonde below ..   Well said said Bull ,that was a bit out of line [a bit like the Biden mob] trying to deflect blame on an innocent party [the ultralight and it,s operator and the whole ultralight community] to deflect from the generally unsafe practises of tilers on roofs as this is not a new problem ,[it was even worse  back in my day ,what with mini skirts and braless loose tops of the 80,s ,,great days] So old CT9000 decided to..................

[turboplanner]

.........use a lot more caution when touching on the subjects sensitive to bull who followed an unwritten law never to blame an Ultralight.

bull won the ATSB Annual Pilot Accident Report competition one year with this.

"I was cruising at an altitude which enable me to see the ground (10 feet), and some bad air cut the engine out, pointing me at a clothes line which became caught in the undercarriage. On the clothesline were braless loose tops which caused me to lose altitude and slightly clip a hen house, dragging the roof off. I would have been OK but the dragging roof and braless tops were slowing me down even more.I had made it to a successful forced landing, except a pig pen jumped up at the last minute and I finished up covered in mud and was blinded and this caused the Ultralight to crash, but not before ......"

 

[bull]

the legality of displaying loose womens attire apon an open to see [from 10 ft anyway] clothsline ,and also the legality of having a hen house above legal height and the pig pen thing in a suburban enviroment without council approval is a whole different bucket of S#$t   all this was exposed by the Karen society of Australia [KSOA].  Now all this caused such a media frenzy Bull quietly slipped away unnoticed from the evil casa.  Ha ha said.........

Edited October 28, 2021 by bull

[turboplanner]

"...........I got away with that one." Sadly this was becoming a regular happening with Bull; a GT500 perched forlornly on the Reef 30 miles east of bone, it's owner never identified, but a grainy photo of someone swimming towards shore very fast with six sharks on his tail. Turbo recognised the distinctive tattoo of an anchor as the shoulder flashed clear of the water, but didn't divulge who it was and now regretted that he could have prevented this trend. There were no less than four sportairs wrecked in various parts of Australia and it wasn't hard to find out who owned them. Three jackaroos bit the  dust as a result of this ten foot flight pattern also; a Jabiru with half a wing missing dowstream of powerlines in the Coldstream circuit in Victoria, now a beautiful little Pegasus lost to recreational flying.

 

Deep in the depths of CQ where most RA flying offences occurred, an iPhone message beeper went off, and FOI (Flying Operations Inspector) Blakey grumbled as he reached around trying to find the phone, but his teeth in and read: "Come to CASA HQ urgently, any means, any cost". His bad mood turned into a sniggering smile as he phoned the only Executive Jet company in CQ, and booked a flight. He had been head hunted from and English bus company, famous throughout the world for finding the slightest infrigement, ad he wondered what was in store. bull was in store, and when he arrived, there were fifteen other FOIs already waiting for the meeting to begin. "Comrades" The Chief FOI began, "........."

 

FOI Blakey in his bus uniform before joining CASA; no infringement had ever escaped him.

 

 

Edited October 28, 2021 by turboplanner

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"Comrades" The Chief FOI began, "......

..... Here, light this manky old gumleaf as I first want to pay respects to all FOI's past and present, and in particular all those unsung FOIs who operate undercover, for they are the brave equivalent of the WW2 French Resistance, and therefore .....

[onetrack]

.....warrant more awards than frontline soldiers at Lone Pine. We'll be organising a medal handout next Wednesday at 08:00hrs sharp at the Boardroom. Those who have initated more than 100 aviation  regulations infringements will get the Gold Wing medal with Oak Cluster. Those who have initiated more than 50 aviation regulations infringements will receive a Silver Wing medal alone.

Those who have initiated more than 10 aviation regulation infringements will receive a Brass Wing medal alone. Those who have managed to issue between 1 and 5 infringement notices will receive 50 Hungry Jacks and Donut King vouchers. Now, as regards this errant aviator bull, we will now issue........

[turboplanner]

"........a press release saying we're about to begin ramp checks at all Tasmanian Airfields.

As we know, there will be a mass exodus of Ultralight flights out of Tasmania. The first 50% will run out of fuel and finish up at the bottom of Bass Strait. The next 20% will make it to the Victorian Coastal Airfields, so we'll have FOIs here and here and here", and he pointed out twenty seven airfields.

"What about the other 30%? asked FOI Blakey."

"That cunning little rat bull will be in the 30% that turn back and we'll have "Welcome to Tasmania; CASA ramp checks ahead on all airfields except XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX" (a field known to be frequented by bull because of all the broken Ultralights scattered all round.)

"That's where you come in Blakey, he'll land and you'll pounce!"

Blakey almost frothed at the mouth with excitement, but .............

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Blakey almost frothed at the mouth with excitement, but ........

..... then remembered the dignity that was demanded by the CASA Charter and the terms of his appointment as an FOI, including the FOI's pledge which, while 17 verses long, commences with the poignant words "We shall screw them on the beaches, we shall screw them in the air, we shall ruin their days during the ramp checks (not to mention if a map is 1 day out of date), and as for the maintenance checks, we will .....

Edited October 29, 2021 by Captain

[bull]

.leave that up to CT9000.  As old Ct had just graduated from the Casa school of left handed screwdriver course [which was really reallly hard for him as he is right handed] to screw them with and also passed the BTWBS [Baffle them with bullshit ]    exam this he was really proud of as he has always been a bit of the bulls#$t master.  Can i join said........

[turboplanner]

....said Constable Doubtfire who was getting sick of picking up Wagga Wagga's drunks off the streets and throwing them into the divvy van, and was not only left handed but already knew how to screw.

Blakey raised his eyebrows in disdain; "we don't use the bully tactics of you coppers" he said " our methods are more subtle and longer lasting; we are prepared to shadow an offender like bull for years".

"That may be so" said Doubtfire but a good clip under the ear, headfirst into the front wall of the divvy van and a night in a cell would do wonders for his .................................

[bull]

arthritis and should ensure that............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, bull said:

arthritis and should ensure that............

...... , via a security camera in his cell, we could moonlight the resultant video if he touched .....

[bull]

anything,but it could suddenly stop working [like epsteins] and something very serious was about to occur to...........

[Captain]

.... poor bull, who had many similarities to JE, as he owns an island and an aircraft, plus is a mate of royalty because of .....

Edited November 1, 2021 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......his close association with Prince Ferdinand, the bullfighter, or Spain.

Theirs was an uneasy friendship because Ferdinand was a rampant socialist, meaning he only flew Ultralights if the government paid for them and they had paid a lot because he had wrecked every one they ever gave him by his habit of .......

[bull]

trying to copy Bull,s 10 feet altitude antics.  They even tried recruiting Bull as his permanent instructor [life saver] but he knocked them back because they flew Jabiru,s . So old Cappy jumped in to the deep end and said ,,i,ll teach the p#$ck ,he will either learn or .......................