Phil Perry Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer? QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you. You are carrying your trucheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do ? ANSWER: British Police Officer: Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights. 1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ? 2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ? 3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ? 4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ? 5) Am I dressed provocatively ? 6) Could I run away ? 7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ? 8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ? 9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ? 10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ? 11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ? 12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ? 13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ? Canadian Police Officer: BANG ! American Police Officer: BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! 'Click'...Reload... BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! Glasgow Police Officer: "Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yerrr bum!" > > > ( Sorry,. . .I don't have any input from the Australian Police Service,. . . .any info ?? - Ed ) 2 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted March 23, 2014 Share Posted March 23, 2014 ( Sorry,. . .I don't have any input from the Australian Police Service,. . . .any info ?? - Ed ) Aussie cop definitely wouldn't shoot him if there was a chance they could issue a fine instead. 1 2 4 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 About 8 of them would Tazer him. Nev 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgmwa Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Or one would Tazer him about eight times. rgmwa 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If it was a Protective Services Officer in Victoria, he would be likely to taser himself...... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Or one would Tazer him about eight times.rgmwa In the eye. Qld Coppers wouldn't be available because they are busy arresting innocent people for having the wrong friends or hassling people with tattoos. 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spacesailor Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap Zap ! Should the victim need his rights read-out, before or after the Tazoring? spacesaoir Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaz3g Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 If it was a Protective Services Officer in Victoria, he would be likely to taser himself...... I remember when we did Project Beacon after the Walsh Street assassinations we were all taught to do the double tap with our .38 revolvers (mainly mod. 19 S&W's but mine was a stainless steel Ruger because I spent a lot of time at sea). Our firearms instructor had just been issued with a Glock 17 for evaluation and his comment then was that it was a lovely piece to use but someone would end up shooting themselves in the leg if they were issued to guys who weren't really well trained. The first to do so was a PSO! Kaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seb7701 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 In the eye.Qld Coppers wouldn't be available because they are busy arresting innocent people for having the wrong friends or hassling people with tattoos. Yeah, those poor misunderstood bikies.... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I took the daughter to Hungry Jacks for dinner the other night...saw a group of "street urchins" practically hold the restaurant hostage while one of them stole a young girls phone...manager tried calling Mackay police as the kids mother was outside trying to retrieve the phone...was told they would be at least half an hour. Mother was still arguing with the QPS answering machine an hour later... Since then every time I have been into town I have been having a serious urge to arm myself because it's quite clear the QPS doesn't respond to crime unless it's biker related. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seb7701 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Sounding pretty narrow minded there....Not sure that bikie related issues represent quite as as much QPS business as you are making out. As for 'arguing with the QPS answering machine an hour later...', pretty sure that's when you ring triple zero? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Probably yes in regards to Police... I get a bit tired of hearing "It will be a different story when you need them"...after the thuggish actions and lack of response I have personally witnessed from the QPS in Mackay over the last 10 years... The above is just the mist recent..combined with 2 offecers charge with raping a local girl on duty and a senior officer costing the tax payers big bucks in compo after wrongfully acting in his duties... There is a big problem here and the response from QPS has been insulting to the local community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seb7701 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 Fair enough, that is three officers out of eleven thousand, so I suppose your probably right, the other 10,997 are probably all dodgy too. How many other govt departments are the subject of tax payer-funded stuff ups again? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 That's 3 officers out of a few dozen in a Mackay...and that is just the stuff that has come out. It points to a serious sickness if culture and that affects the whole organization. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I believe the current Qld. government has renamed the Qld police to Police Force. Obviously service was inappropriate. The other thing the government has done is call bikies criminals and it is a crime to be a criminal. Look out in Qld, they could declare RAAus pilots criminal pilots and we would not be able to gather in groups of 3. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted March 24, 2014 Share Posted March 24, 2014 I remember when we did Project Beacon after the Walsh Street assassinations we were all taught to do the double tap with our .38 revolvers (mainly mod. 19 S&W's but mine was a stainless steel Ruger because I spent a lot of time at sea).Our firearms instructor had just been issued with a Glock 17 for evaluation and his comment then was that it was a lovely piece to use but someone would end up shooting themselves in the leg if they were issued to guys who weren't really well trained. The first to do so was a PSO! Kaz Still happens regularly Kaz - I believe that unintentional discharges in the stations are happening almost weekly..... Then there was the case of the PSO who drew on another PSO after a dispute. Some people shouldn't be trusted with slingshots, let alone handguns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Fair enough, that is three officers out of eleven thousand, so I suppose your probably right, the other 10,997 are probably all dodgy too. How many other govt departments are the subject of tax payer-funded stuff ups again? And that is exactly the reasoning the QPS is applying to Bikers... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Since then every time I have been into town I have been having a serious urge to arm myself... Ya's soundin like a crazy redneck now, get some gun racks in ya ute bro.... - or (in keeping with this site) take the Sopwith to town with its twin Vickers! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seb7701 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Um, you mean 'the government' is applying to bikers... You do realise that the legislation applies only to 'declared' criminal motorcycle gangs, not just 'bikers'?? Anyway, obviously a sore point, so I won't interfere with any more 'fact'! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eightyknots Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Qld Coppers wouldn't be available because they are busy arresting innocent people for having the wrong friends or hassling people with tattoos. ....or arresting drunk drivers on motorised eskies!! See: http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/queensland-man-riding-a-motorised-esky-charged-with-drink-driving-20140325-35ff8.html 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted March 25, 2014 Share Posted March 25, 2014 Um, you mean 'the government' is applying to bikers...You do realise that the legislation applies only to 'declared' criminal motorcycle gangs, not just 'bikers'?? Anyway, obviously a sore point, so I won't interfere with any more 'fact'! Perhaps someone should tell the QPS on the job that... because they have been hassling ALL bikers... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted March 26, 2014 Author Share Posted March 26, 2014 GeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeZ. . . . . . It's amazing what you can stir out of the barrel with a jokey post isn't it. . . . . ( ? ) 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted March 26, 2014 Share Posted March 26, 2014 You just have the knack Phil!! Anyway, yes, it's state based. QLD - (as mentioned) unless the knife wielder was wearing his cut, not interested. NSW - Taser. VIC - Shot. 25 times. Then booked for speeding. TAS - On the phone to Vic to send the SOG, we don't have one here. SA - Too busy looking for bodies in barrels. WA / NT - No idea. Do they have police? ACT - Too busy investigating Peter Slipper. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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