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The Never Ending Story


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"Thats' Okay," replied Nana. "I have plenty of water in my .............."

.............. knee?"

 

"Did you call me?" asked Nee Zup the party animal.

 

"Which party? Is dat de Communist Party, the Columnist Party or da ................................

 

 

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.............. knee?"

"Did you call me?" asked Nee Zup the party animal.

 

"Which party? Is dat de Communist Party, the Columnist Party or da ................................

"Colonist Party"

 

"Me" said CFI with his usual volubility.

 

The Japanese escapees were closing in on the Still after living in the bush on mutton birds and slow possums

 

"Is that you Rat?" asked Aki "You missing for few days. Thanks for ride in Jab (oops overloaded secret out now)"

 

Rat hadn't had the heart or the morals to tell his friends of his Chinese conversion, and he hadn't told them about the trip to New York where he hung out in filthy alleys with the local hoods, but then it all came tumbling out.

 

"Hey, What Up! said Wun Fat Rat [Australian: "Gday"] <Mandarin "Ni Hao">.

 

"I'm Wun Fat Rat

 

"Nao hows about that

 

"Pick up the chopstix

 

"Eat up me crab stix..........."

 

 

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"Hey, Wun Fat Rat (whose mates just called him Rotund Rodent for short). Were you involved in the Tiananmin Square protest riots?" asked Tubb.

 

"Yes I was" said Fat "And I am proud that I was in the forefront of the riots."

 

"What role did you have in that great feedom seeking event of world significance." Tubb continued to probe.

 

"I was right at the front of the crowd when they were asking for feedom & democracy" answered WFR ................................................................ "I drove the lead tank."

 

"Whoopse" said Tubb, distancing himself like an RA Aus Exec Member after the Presidents speeches at Natfly "That means you are a .............

 

 

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"Hey, Wun Fat Rat (whose mates just called him Rotund Rodent for short). Were you involved in the Tiananmin Square protest riots?" asked Tubb.

"Yes I was" said Fat "And I am proud that I was in the forefront of the riots."

 

"What role did you have in that great feedom seeking event of world significance." Tubb continued to probe.

 

"I was right at the front of the crowd asking for feedom & democracy" answered WFR ................................................................ "I drove the lead tank."

 

"Whoopse" said Tubb, distancing himself like an RA Aus Exec Member after the Presidents speeches at Natfly "That means you are a .............

" secret executive member. WE are the ones who ask for freedom and democracy and YOU drive Tank on out Toes"

 

"BTW, did you meet your nephew Mik i-Maos when you were in the States?" asked Turbo diplomatically chaging the subject.

 

"Yes, met him" said Wun Fat Rat "but he strange, dyed hair and had an eye job....."

 

 

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" secret executive member. WE are the ones who ask for freedom and democracy and YOU drive Tank on out Toes"

"BTW, did you meet your nephew Mik i-Maos when you were in the States?" asked Turbo diplomatically chaging the subject.

 

"Yes, met him" said Wun Fat Rat "but he strange, dyed hair and had an eye job....."

.. as well as brack toenail porish. He wun funny strange fella. Bet he got a .........

 

 

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Caderack....

"Yeah. It's a shame. They found it when I had my eyes tested" explained BTW to WFR. "I have to have it removed thru day-surgery in the next couple of weeks."

 

"Speaking about being removed" chimed in Lockwood Larry the SportStar owner "Why have I been written out of the NES?"

 

"You just go off and ruin a few other good threads with your mates from the MajesticMachismoMasturbattiModeratti, as you have been replaced by FF, who has a pletty clappy japanese accent but at least FF hasn't yet been told to FoFF. He (or she) has a Tecnam (so the tone of the NES has been lifted), and he (or she) hails from the Flinders Ranges, which is a bloody big area and perhaps you, dear AhRocksoff can Moderate him (or her) to be a bit more specific about location, as a few of us need to know exactly where FF is located, because we might want a free room and feed on the way to William Creek."

 

"Good idea" said AHChoo "I'll ban FF until he (or she) comes across with ........................

 

 

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"Yeah. It's a shame. They found it when I had my eyes tested" explained BTW to WFR. "I have to have it removed thru day-surgery in the next couple of weeks."

"Speaking about being removed" chimed in Lockwood Larry the SportStar owner "Why have I been written out of the NES?"

 

"You just go off and ruin a few other good threads with your mates from the MajesticMachismoMasturbattiModeratti, as you have been replaced by FF, who has a pletty clappy japanese accent but at least FF hasn't yet been told to FoFF. He (or she) has a Tecnam (so the tone of the NES has been lifted), and he (or she) hails from the Flinders Ranges, which is a bloody big area and perhaps you, dear AhRocksoff can Moderate him (or her) to be a bit more specific about location, as a few of us need to know exactly where FF is located, because we might want a free room and feed on the way to William Creek."

 

"Good idea" said AHChoo "I'll ban FF until he (or she) comes across with ........................

some poison pasties to fit in da belly. Wot dis you tok of Willyem Cweek. Dat a long whey to go in widdle pwane. Be bwoody cowd dare dis tyme off year. Finkin bout it myself when I get a bit more sperience. So who wanna spend night wif ..........

 

 

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some poison pasties to fit in da belly. Wot dis you tok of Willyem Cweek. Dat a long whey to go in widdle pwane. Be bwoody cowd dare dis tyme off year. Finkin bout it myself when I get a bit more sperience. So who wanna spend night wif ..........

.....fwinders-fwyer without seeing a photo first.

 

"Do you reckon that FF sounds like a chinese person, Bugs Bunny or Elmer Fud in the attached quote?" asked FatRat "And did FF mention "widdle"?" he added as he bolted for the door with an associated unzipping sound.

 

"I think that the frinders-fryer sounds a bit like ..............................

 

 

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"I think that the frinders-fryer sounds a bit like ..............................

"a Tasmanian Chinese with a cold"

 

Meanwhile while CFI was busy milking the cow, Akihiko, Nobushi, and Suzuki sneaked down to the Still, and helped themselves to all the jugs they could carry.

 

"How to get home?" asked Akihiko

 

There was a rustle and the flash of a Collingwood jumper, and out stepped a skinny little figure.

 

" Hey, I'm Bigglesworth" he said .......

 

 

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"" Hey, I'm Bigglesworth" he said .......

"And me and my mate Ahnotworthmuch are here to help you carry all that fine neck oil away before Blackusroddus, DavidicusIsaacicus, SlartIdrinkanythink and WunFat Rat confiscate it for themselves"

 

"We have been known to imbibe a bit" slurred SlartIdrinkanythink

 

"How do we get to FlindersFlyers place from here?" mumbled WFR (aviation acronym)

 

"Let me show you the way" lisped a voice from out of...........

 

 

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"Let me show you the way" lisped a voice from out of...........

........ Taswegia. I can show you the way, as I am a born leader .................... see, look at me, I have 4 stripes on each of these two epaulettes, and a pilot's jump suit, and everythink ................... here under this footy jumper ...................... however I can only show you the way, I can't actually tell you anything .............. because you would become too bored and if you actually knew too much, then we at the top would lose our mystique."

 

"Wow" said an impressed young fryer who didn't know that he was being mushroomed "I would never criticise or ask any questions if you have four gold captain's bars (and twice too, so you must be much more better than me), so we should give "Fearless Leader" room to sort out the mess and we should never probe."

 

"I have said too much already" added Fearless Leader". "You just go frying, which is all you are really interested in, and we'll grow the organisation by employing lots of people and allowing our costs to rise exponentially, and that will be a sure sign that the organisation is on the up .............. now me and my round mate are off to down a case of Grange with our cobbers from CASA (I do hope someone brings a few bottles that are better than that '64 muck that they got from Penfolds last week).

 

"Hey wait" called ...............

 

 

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"Hey wait" called ...............

..the little boy who hadn't been told to shut up; "What do four stripes mean, and my little brother wears a jump suit. How old do you have to be to get trousers"

 

 

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..the little boy who hadn't been told to shut up; "What do four stripes mean, and my little brother wears a jump suit. How old do you have to be to get trousers"

"If I told you that, I would have to kill you" lisped Fearless Leader. "That is a secret that only those at the top should know, those at the bottom shouldnt know and if you do know, we want to know how you know, so that we can stop you knowing without you knowing"

 

"I'll drink to that" slurred Slartss slowly

 

"Speaking of probes" said WFR, "Would it help if we used anal probes, as I have found them to be.........

 

 

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""Speaking of probes" said WFR, "Would it help if we used anal probes, as I have found them to be.........

....very beneficial for Casa ramp officials" slurred Slarti

 

"Here here" stammered Elratto "They always seem to ...........

 

 

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(bloody hell!! its getting rough in here)....(picking on tassie ain't really fair!)..i never said anything...

Does Tassie and anal probes go together??????

 

It is OK CFI, we u.n.d.e.r.st.a.n.d, w e w i l l t a l k s l o w e r .............

 

 

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Does Tassie and anal probes go together??????

It is OK CFI, we u.n.d.e.r.st.a.n.d, w e w i l l t a l k s l o w e r .............

So the Fakir's eye's lit up at the mention of anal probes (not that there is anything wrong with that), or was it '64 Grange, or perhaps he is a closet CASA Ramp Official (not that there is anything right with that) ........ or does the Fakir perhaps wear a pilots jump suit that is three sizes too small, to show off his lunch-bag to advantage? These, dear reader, are questions of great weight, particularly when considering Charlie Darwin's theory of continental drfit that will soon see Taswegia parked off Phillip Island and a Customs/Genetics Office established at San Remo in case some of 'em excape and mate with the domestic population.

 

"So to fly to Taswegia, you'll just leave Wilson's Prom and head west?" asked Brine, who was preparing ...................

 

 

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...a fright plan for Tasmania.

"mother, Mother!" called the Fakir, but there was no.........

............ response. After all, would YOU own up to that?

 

"I would" replied Nanna, who was not (and is not) choosie "Because I know that the C Fafir is actually .............

 

 

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............ response. After all, would YOU own up to that?

"I would" replied Nanna, who was not (and is not) choosie "Because I know that the C Fafir is actually .............

..a piece of classical music written by a Tibetan Monk during his long journey down from the mountains after Colonel Mallard stuffed up a landing due to wind shear on the upper slopes of Mount C222. The well know staccato rhythm of this tune is due to the chattering of the monk's teeth in the bitterly cold conditions.

 

At the end of the journey he said:

 

 

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..a piece of classical music written by a Tibetan Monk during his long journey down from the mountains after Colonel Mallard stuffed up a landing due to wind shear on the upper slopes of Mount C222. The well know staccato rhythm of this tune is due to the chattering of the monk's teeth in the bitterly cold conditions.

At the end of the journey he said:

............... "Use the Force, Grasshopper" ...... and 5 billion hoppers (+ Lockwood Larry) took to the wing across NSW ....... each with their matchstick sized light sabres flashing, and each looking for their very own Princess Leia (Not that there is anything wrong with that, because Carrie Fisher used to be a bit of a dish), with which to ........................

 

 

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............... "Use the Force, Grasshopper" ...... and 5 billion hoppers (& Lockwood Larry) took to the wing across NSW ....... each with their matchstick sized light sabres flashing, and each looking for their very own Princess Leyer (Not that there is anything wrong with that, because Carrie Fisher used to be a bit of a dish), with which to ........................

...play, or in the case of Lockwood Larry peep.

 

 

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