The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....certainly not the Duck of Montpelier because his Lightwing flies one wing down and pitches like a Kangaroo do mating a Fox terrier. Turbo's trained eye saw fifteen rigging errors in that luckless apology for an aeroplane, without even.......................

 

 

[Captain]

.....certainly not the Duck of Montpelier because his Lightwing flies one wing down and pitches like a Kangaroo do mating a Fox terrier. Turbo's trained eye saw fifteen rigging errors in that luckless apology for an aeroplane, without even.......................

.......... looking at the wingy/flappy-things, or the elevator/rudder bits or that straight bit that connects them together.

 

 

 

Saint Madge of the blessed OWD (The celibate order of the One-Wing-Down) took umbrage at Turbo's post, drew himself up to his full height and screamed ".....................

 

 

Ma Tante is out in her jardin this morning, trying to find her plume, when she noticed the reference to St Madge du Canard, and she asks how often he gets a Woody ............................. or whether they are mostly more common varieties of duck.

 

 

[Bandit12]

"....Never in me life have I mated with a Fox Terrier!"

 

Turbs gestured towards the airfield, where a sudden gust of wind (caused perhaps by Rat ingesting too many cabbage leaves) had caused the Lightwing to climb on top of the Foxcon beside it.

 

"Not you, ya clown. Your wingthing is mating with a Terrier right now!"

 

"Oh my" said Madge worriedly, "I don't think that is appropriate, why just think of what the offspring would look like!".

 

Turbo already had an idea of what ugly offspring could look like, and launched into the story from his years of sowing seed as a young ag pilot/roustabout......

 

 

[Captain]

"............. from his years of sowing seed as a young ag pilot/roustabout......

...../gynaecologist/branding iron heater/beautyshop waxer/bull rider (NTTIAWWT)/fencer/camp cook (NTTIAWWT)/..................

 

 

[Bryon]

....and nanny (NTTIAWWT) for a group of forlorn sheep herders (as opposed to shepherds) from ENZED

 

Turdbro thought that the food was OK but the sleeping arrangements........

 

 

[Captain]

.... Turdbro thought that the food was OK but the sleeping arrangements........

........... made it very difficult for him to remain a virgin (he is still "saving himself"), because .............

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

........... made it very difficult for him to remain a virgin (he is still "saving himself"), because .............

...he wants to give "the greatest gift he can give" to some long-legged blonde highly-paid executive with a Leer Jet...

 

 

[Captain]

...he wants to give "the greatest gift he can give" to some long-legged blonde highly-paid executive with a Leer Jet...

........... who was not a bloke (Turbo had been tricked before) and who wouldn't be too particular or picky or critical, as Turbo ................

 

 

[ahlocks]

.. hadn't been gifted with the best of looks. "Got a face like a hat full of Rsoles" chimed Tub's new besty, Ricochette. "And he wouldn't know a grass root from a dry....."

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....cleaning ticket, because he gets all his dry cleaning done for free by a [XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Edited], who [XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXX Edited] at [XXXXXXXX Edited].

 

Turbo had recently been incorrectly tagged by a particularly incensed rag and bone driver as a member of the Leer Jet set, but before he could hit the "nasty" button, which he grew to love, it had disappeared after a complaint by Foxhunter who preferred the more poncy "unhelpful", which itself opened up endless possibilities for the thong set, so he wants Ahlot to know that he doesn't think he is unhelpful, it was just that his finger slipped on the key when he tried to click on the "helpful" tag.

 

But back to the story, where the Leer Jet comment reminded him of old Elsie Jackson, CWA Secretary who once complained to the Shire Presdident that Turbo had been leering at her.

 

The Shire President took it seriouslyt and asked "What was he doing at the time he was leering at you, Else?"

 

"He......."

 

 

[Captain]

..... The Shire President took it seriouslyt and asked "What was he doing at the time he was leering at you, Else?""He......."

....... appeared to be touching himself (and Mave took a few photos of that with her box brownie just to be sure .... and as evidence .... & to show at the girl's night out) on his .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"......dog, and......"

 

 

[Bryon]

.......ignoring the cat (nice pussy......) next to him who slowly exposed a vicious looking claw and....

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

proceeded to sharpen them on one of the three most favourite cat scratching places, carpet, furniture or scrotums and in this case.....

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

proceeded to sharpen them on one of the three most favourite cat scratching places, carpet, furniture or scrotums and in this case.....

the dog's scrotum, with instant result - the dog bit Tubbso, who reeled back in shock and accidentally flung...

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

The specifications of the Carbon Cub up into the fan........"F%^%K Ouch!!"

 

"That is almost as painful as being called one of the LeerJet Set"

 

Rat doubled up laughing...."So....Leerjet Set Carbon Cub Driver!!!!"......" I take it that your club has a wide range of members ranging from Powered Parachute through to.....Oh I dunno a Lear Jet owner!!!" I guess the only folk who cant be members are those who.......

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

The specifications of the Carbon Cub up into the fan........"F%^%K Ouch!!"

"That is almost as painful as being called one of the LeerJet Set"

 

Rat doubled up laughing...."So....Leerjet Set Carbon Cub Driver!!!!"......" I take it that your club has a wide range of members ranging from Powered Parachute through to.....Oh I dunno a Lear Jet owner!!!" I guess the only folk who cant be members are those who.......

fly firste editione ultralights like Skycraft Scouts, Eh?"

 

 

[Captain]

fly firste editione ultralights like Skycraft Scouts, Eh?"

"No, not at all old chap" said the bloke who owns the G550 that was at the Temora BBQ "This Club is all inclusive, is for everyone who has the $200 K joining fee and who can provide the topless hosties for the annual knees-up. We even welcome the owners of T-300's and T-83's (or even T-383's) and one of our members from up north even has a Jack-a-Cricket and another is a deity with a Lightwing, so that shows how we are willing to mix with the common folk. I am informed by my butler that one even has an SS."

 

 

 

"What's an SS?" asked Andy, who was acting on the aggressive side & continued to Leer at this bloke after asking his question.

 

 

 

The G550 bloke chatted with the butler who was butling pretty hard, then replied "My man-servant advises that an SS is a scratched scrotum, which ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

...is very difficult to handle in the turns, stalls without warning and is prone to.............but he was interrupted by the deity who said "Pass me the Chasrdonnay old chay ey?", and then disgraced himself by................

 

In an extremely rare case of Human Factors, Post #9000 slipped under our radar with just this quote from Salty "Pooh, bugga, bum......beaten to the post by Bob......."

 

Since he was not beaten to the post by anyone, least of all Bob who prematurely let go, the NES board members have decided that Salty............[Edited due to secrecy clause]

 

 

[Captain]

...is very difficult to handle in the turns, stalls without warning and is prone to.............but he was interrupted by the deity who said "Pass me the Chasrdonnay old chay ey?", and then disgraced himself by................

....... using the men's facilities in the rear of the Lightwing's First Class compartment. (For those that have never experienced a Lightwing Heli-View, Madge has always felt that their interior is very similar to the Upstairs Lounge in a 747).

 

"Aaaaaaaaaaaah, that feels better" said St Madge as he resumed the left hand seat and took command again. "My aircraft" he added.

 

 

 

"You do realise that we don't have a men's dunny back there" said the bloke on the right.

 

 

 

"Oh, bugger" responded St Madge "Is your baggage waterproof? So it's just as well that mine no longer stink since I was made a Board Member and a revered Deity, but what's that .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

........rattling gurgling sound? And Don Qixote's bedraggled wet face poked through the baggage.

 

"Are those tears in your eyes? asked the reverred Deity, but before he could.................

 

 

[Captain]

........rattling gurgling sound? And Don Qixote's bedraggled wet face poked through the baggage."Are those tears in your eyes? asked the reverred Deity, but before he could.................

.......... reply the Deity whipped out his wand (as he has always been prone to do, since he was a little duckling) and smote Donny Q with a mighty blow, as those Deity's crosiers are bloody heavy, particularly the ones made from jarrah, boab and sugar cane, then covered with the skins of cane toads like the one that St Madge uses.

 

 

 

St Madge of the blessed Duck also has a Mitre of his own design, which includes the Townsville tartan with XXXX cans rampant, and that goes well with his ............

 

 

MADGE WITH MITRE AND CROSIER ON HIS WAY INTO THE RAA BOARD MEETING IN TEMORA. NOTE HIS BIG SHINY RING, HIS "COME-TO-BED" EYES, AS NANNA DESCRIBES THEM, HIS TIGHT PURSED LIPS AND HIS TRIANGULAR HANKY AT THE READY. THE SIGN BEHIND HIM SAYS "UFFSTAY ASACAY AND UGGERBAY THE AAASAY OOTAY".

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

.......... reply the Deity whipped out his wand (as he has always been prone to do, since he was a little duckling) and smote Donny Q with a mighty blow, as those Deity's crosiers are bloody heavy, particularly the ones made from jarrah, boab and sugar cane, then covered with the skins of cane toads like the one that St Madge uses. 

 

St Madge of the blessed Duck also has a Mitre of his own design, which includes the Townsville tartan with XXXX cans rampant, and that goes well with his ............

 

 

 

.

...gold velvet boxers, for those unfortunate enough to have seen Madge in a state of dishabile, or as the French say...

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

infrequent undelecto....... or was that......

 

 

[Bob Llewellyn]

infrequent undelecto....... or was that......

quoits interpreter? Anyway, the unfortunate Don Q tried to reel back, but there's not enough room in a Lightwing, so he reeled fowards instead. "Gerrof ya basterd!" yelled the right-seat man, as St Madge rained repeated blows onto the back of Don Q's head, the right-seat man, and...