Captain Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 ....task of searching for Captain's ancestors. Turbo is on Cape Yorke Peninsula, and after many years of rumour and innuendo, and a small group of people making trouble, has photographic proof that the Endeavour could not have hit the Great Barrier Reef because there is not one there. Turbo has found the site where the Endeavour allegedly landed, but said "Careened my ar$se, she was an old lighter, solid as a rock and although using her on a long trip was the same as taking an HQ, nothing happened to the ship. I met a Native yesterday who told me the whole dark and sordid story"Today, the Native, Slarti Slarti is taking him up the sinister river in an orange-bark canoe, where further revelations...... ..... will be made about what Cheetahs taste like when cooked with a side of fricassee'd Goana, and how our indigenous brothers really did invent Aussie Rules, the laws of Flight, Gravity, the brasier (and the brazier) and the way that the pioneering french aviator E Paul Ette was the first to discover ............ PS Nanna is showing an unnatural interest in the "Rainbow Serpent" (apologies to Brine, who all his mates know as "Horse").. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 ..... will be made about what Cheetahs taste like when cooked with a side of fricassee'd Goana, and how our indigenous brothers really did invent Aussie Rules, the laws of Flight, Gravity, the brasier (and the brazier) and the way that the pioneering french aviator E Paul Ette was the first to discover ............ PS Nanna is showing an unnatural interest in the "Rainbow Serpent" (apologies to Brine, who all his mates know as "Horse").. So with Tubby raping and pillaging his way thru F'nQ, and bothering Madge & Hongie (also known as Schlongie) on their way to Monto ........... and-with-bull-working-up-in-the-territory (where-men-are-men-and-the goanas-are nervous) while reporting downed survey aircraft, the NES had ground (not that there is anything wrong with that, [and hard aviation term]) to a full-stop (aviation term). The rodent therefore jumped (aviation skydiving term) in (sexual inuendo term) to continue the story ............ "I can vouch for zat pioneering french aviator" commented Nanna "As he taught mon a lot as a junior member of zee CWA, when he lived up to his family name (oral term), and then showed me a re-enactment of that special dream-time story about his rainbow serpent, which ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 .........wrapped itself around his body and squeezed, and squeezed, until Turbo had to call for help. Fortunately the chef arrived with is meat and and with one swipe sliced the serpent's head off, then, being a mediocre tennis player, batted the head out into the rainforest. From that day on, Turbo always complimented his chef on....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 .........wrapped itself around his body and squeezed, and squeezed, until Turbo had to call for help. Fortunately the chef arrived with his meat and with one swipe sliced the serpent's head off, then, being a mediocre tennis player, batted the head out into the rainforest. From that day on, Turbo always complimented his chef on....... ...... his Ette-i-Quette (he was a well known Chef Fancaise, and half brother to the Pilotte Francaise [and Taswegian flying school fearless leader] E Paul Ette) both of whom were famously infamous for french kissing their way around the CWA speaking circuit, and for taking advantage of ..... PS - My Aunt (who is a bit of a smart-arse) was looking at Turps's photo of the LW on takeoff in his post #6725, and she wonders whether that aircraft has been moved to 19- rego yet due to another minor little "mistake" in the HQ Citadel. If not, she thinks that it must be one of the few aircraft that are retaining their original number ...... out there in the garden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 ...a number of strays. Turbo apologises for the slow reaction, but he is still cutting he way through the Queensland rainforest in search of the history of Captain's family, is taking prodigious numbers of photos for the NES, and has found a link between E Paul Ette and ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 ...a number of strays. Turbo apologises for the slow reaction, but he is still cutting he way through the Queensland rainforest in search of the history of Captain's family, is taking prodigious numbers of photos for the NES, and has found a link between E Paul Ette and ...... ...Nobu who was once accused of being a French cooking spy for his penchant for roadkill roo legs garnished with garlic and redwine jus (not just any red wine, but Chateau Le Capitaine Wagga Wagga 36) Nobu has been known to don a gold braid outfit in order to try and bluff his way out of seedy motels without paying, which brings us to the case of the missing...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 ...Nobu who was once accused of being a French cooking spy for his penchant for roadkill roo legs garnished with garlic and redwine jus (not just any red wine, but Chateau Le Capitaine Wagga Wagga 36)Nobu has been known to don a gold braid outfit in order to try and bluff his way out of seedy motels without paying, which brings us to the case of the missing...... .... virginity .......... as Virgin had sent a plane (aviation reference) to Cowla & it went missing (another common aviation reference of late) up in the Wineries where there was a one piece bikini fashion parade and general perve (Planey reference), and it came back with the name on the tail changed to "Defiled" (Turpsy reference). "Don't wolly about that Virgin fright" said Nobu "As it is more applopliate to wolly about what Turbs will find when he investigates the Lodents famiry tlee, because we all know that it is full of Nobel Plize winners, Chairmans of various Boards, a heap of CWA Life Members, a few Knights of the Lealm and more OA's and OAM's than you can shake a stick at, but the thing that will cause the biggest stir is when Turpsy discovers that El Latsack is lerated to ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted October 4, 2012 Share Posted October 4, 2012 .... virginity .......... as Virgin had sent a plane (aviation reference) to Cowla & it went missing up in the Wineries where there was a one piece bikini fashion parade and general perve, and it came back with the name on the tail changed to "Defiled". "Don't wolly about that Virgin fright" said Nobu "As it is more applopliate to wolly about what Turbs will find when he investigates the Lodents famiry tlee, because we all know that it is full of Nobel Plize winners, Chairmans of various Boards, a heap of CWA Life Members, a few Knights of the Lealm and more OA's and OAM's than you can shake a stick at, but the thing that will cause the biggest stir is when Turpsy discovers that El Latsack is lerated to ............ "Dont even mention their name" demanded Oldratspoo. "We have enough shame and scandal in the family without raising that old hoary chestnut again. I can never forgive them for.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 "Dont even mention their name" demanded Oldratspoo."We have enough shame and scandal in the family without raising that old hoary chestnut again. I can never forgive them for.......... .... hoaring when there were chests and nuts involved." "And sticks were being shaken by the OA's and OAM's too (some were even shaking their own)" said Nanna "Or, at least I thought they were sticks until I partook of the hoaring and found that they were ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 ...Queensland pistle guards, which you.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 use to holster your pistle....After all the boys in blue get all uptight if you pistle is being waved about in public and we all know that a loaded pistle is a dangerous thing. In fact the onbly thing more dangerous to the boys in blue is a semi automatic concealed pistle with one up the spout!.... Rubbish!!! yelled Nana a pistle with one up the spout and in my holster is......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 use to holster your pistle....After all the boys in blue get all uptight if you pistle is being waved about in public and we all know that a loaded pistle is a dangerous thing. In fact the onbly thing more dangerous to the boys in blue is a semi automatic concealed pistle with one up the spout!.... Rubbish!!! yelled Nana a pistle with one up the spout and in my holster is......... ......is worth two in the bush" "But what do them Brazillians do?" asked Mavis thinking of her own pre-dick-ament Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 ......is worth two in the bush""But what do them Brazillians do?" asked Mavis thinking of her own pre-dick-ament ....... ...... and pre-di-lick-shun to swathy men what speak Portugese (or who have a pulse). "Them Brazilians make the Embraer (aviation reference) and provide a location for the "Boys" with chequered pasts from Chermany (Turpsy reference)" commented Nanna "And some of their pistles are Lugers." "Don't forget that them Brazilians also make hair remover and razors" replied Mavis, who has always been a bit partial to ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 ...... and pre-di-lick-shun to swathy men what speak Portugese (or who have a pulse). "Them Brazilians make the Embraer (aviation reference) and provide a location for the "Boys" with chequered pasts from Chermany (Turpsy reference)" commented Nanna "And some of their pistles are Lugers." "Don't forget that them Brazilians also make hair remover and razors" replied Mavis, who has always been a bit partial to ......... waxing the armpits and the waxing the nether regions with ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 5, 2012 Share Posted October 5, 2012 waxing the armpits and the waxing the nether regions with ...... .... Shell Aviation's hot new fragrance AeroShell 10-40, with a waft of ShellVipJet." "Wowwwweeee" commented AhRoxoff "That is making me get my Rox off again". "Where have you been, Steve" asked El Rodentus "As Tubby is off in f'n Q doing things to me rello's with a possum skinned condom-mint and you have not been seen on the NES since Tubbo went north ....... so, I ask again, as I did about 5000 posts ago, is it tru that Ahlox, the TuberPlanter and Eeeen are in fact the same person living 3 remarkably different lives, doing kinky stuff to 3 different wives and flying ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 ... ultralight aerobatics in the dark after being inspired by something posted on a forum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 ... ultralight aerobatics in the dark after being inspired by something posted on a forum. But while NES readers will recognise the Locky's clever reference to the thread postulating about whether some forum members would be so thick as to commit suicide after reading some particular thread (the NES excepted), those of you that practice forensic gynecology (or is it "pathology"? as I can never remember the difference) will deduce that the response from the AhLockian did not deny the existance of the holy Triumvirate, and as further evidence that AhLo is Eeeen, I note that Eeeen did not post anywhere else at 4.06 pm (when Ahlox post # 6743 hit the airwaves), and also ........ everyone in the upper echelons (and ailerons) of the RAA-US (and the NES) hate Ahlocks, so based on all this solid evidence he simply MUST be Eeeen. "I've seen them both with their undercarriages exposed" said Nanna "And I can tell you the incontrovertible truth that Steve and Ian are .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 complete with tricycle undercarriage...no tail draging by either of those fellows....of course the downside is that their prop can flop in the dirt requiring a full inspection of their crank, purported to be working at this time but........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 ... able to be amputated at the knees and called 'tripod'. "No way icky poo yuk nasty!" protested Turbine:ace:at Nana's grand revellation. "Houses will be lost and insurers will get upset when impressionable folk will start hacking away at themselves after reading that." Fortunately, this gave ElRatto cause to rethink his plan to join the holy triumvirate and set down the pruning saw for he............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 ......had been sent a proof of Turbo's "Journal of Travels inPursuit of NES ancestors in the wilds of Queensland Personland. in the Dark" with a Foreword by Frank the Outlaw. He breathed a sigh of relief until he received a second Facebook message from Turbo saying "Got you that time, I haven't sent the key 180 photos, and they will BLOW THE LID OFF the NES, Een, and several others including Brine..............There was a pregnant pause....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 ......had been sent a proof of Turbo's "Journal of Travels inPursuit of NES ancestors in the wilds of Queensland Personland. in the Dark" with a Foreword by Frank the Outlaw.He breathed a sigh of relief until he received a second Facebook message from Turbo saying "Got you that time, I haven't sent the key 180 photos, and they will BLOW THE LID OFF the NES, Een, and several others including Brine..............There was a pregnant pause....... "See if I care (and other Taswegian expletives)" said Mavis, "I aint preggers, cos Olratspoo used a ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 "See if I care (and other Taswegian expletives)" said Mavis, "I aint preggers, cos Olratspoo used a ........ ... condiment (the bastard could never spell) when he said he would take precautions, but it had been in his wallet since 1960, had a useby date of 12.04.62 and when he opened it he found that the packet contained a mixture of chilli sauce and chutney. "So how can you be sure your aren't preggers?" asked Salty "Have you missed a cycle?" "No" relied Nanna "I went for a ride down at the skate park on my Mongoose yesterday, where I was deduced by the Plunger's good looks, and Turpsy inserted his .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 .....paragraph.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 .....paragraph.... .... as he plied me with Para port, and showed me a new paradigm when he rubbed it with parafin oil, he took me to paradise in the bushes behind the parade ground in the park, in Parramatta, but when he took out his parakeet it was paradoxical that he would still want to ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 6, 2012 Share Posted October 6, 2012 .... as he plied me with Para port, and showed me a new paradigm when he rubbed it with parafin oil, he took me to paradise in the bushes behind the parade ground in the park, in Parramatta, but when he took at his parakeet it was paradoxical that he would still want to ...... ...paraphrase, instead of coming right out with it and........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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