Captain Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 ........ as he eyed off the Ranga from Tauranga who said "Those Jaaabs are bult a but like Chully Buns (that's an Eksky to you Aussie duckheads)." "I-luv-New-Zuland" sud bull. "Why?" replied the Tauranga Ranga. "Becuz it's so far away-and-therefore-a-great-place-to house-Kiwis. A lot betta than Chrustmus Island (although the infrastructure in NZ is much worse so I'm buggered if I know how they can call it "New" Zuland, so usn't thaaaat false aaadvertising?)" replied bull with a boner "Plus they say sux a lot when counting, and Hulen Clark was a darling of a hot chick who was almost as spunky as our own ranga". "Lusten" she responded "Ruchard Haadley us god and much better than Dare-nis Lulley, and sux are what we do as foreplay before we have sux." "Well-in-thut-case-I'll-haaaaave ........................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 6, 2014 Share Posted January 6, 2014 "....sivin" said bull who was catching on fast. A quizzical look came over the ranga's face and she said "....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ...."whata yuh mean, sivin? You think this is sum kinda cookin class? You thunk I'm gonna siv sum flowa and cook you a cake bru?" Bull was very confused now, so he turned to Madge and asked..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ....... "Are-you-really-as-big-a #@*& as-they-say-you-are?" "I um, .... eh cuz" responded Maadge, who couldn't work out whuther he wuz in f'n Q or New Zuland, so he added ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ....... "As yez all know, I am the people's board member and I specialise in representing the smallest and least worthy of the members (which we on the Board affectionately refer to as the "Common Folk") at the highest levels in the RAA (which we on the Board affectionately refer to as "Us Elite"), and because I am proud to be "The People's Board Member", from here on I wish to be addressed as "Your Madge-esty"." "No wuckers, Their Madge-esty" responded the Ahlot, who had a bit of trouble with the concept, "But to me, you will always be known as ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ..your tribal name of speedhump." The meaning of Their Madge-esty's tribal name had been the source of curiosty since it had first been made public, oh about now, on NES. Was it a reference to his sexual prowess, a description of his F'nQ ability to get things moving or simply...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ......... was he merely a dinky-di speed-bump in the tricky & winding road of life ............................................................ or is he perhaps just pleased to see me (NTTIAWWT)? It was ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 7, 2014 Share Posted January 7, 2014 ...a cold and wintery summers night in Melbourne, when out of the mist emerged the Lightwing. Gliding gracefully down into Moorabbin (gliding, because the engine had fallen off; gracefully because Madge had also fallen off), it kissed the tarmac at Moorabbin, and rolled to a gentle stop, resting against Turbo's truck manufacturing plant. "Hmmm...." mused the Turdster "No engine, no Madge, what to do?"..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 ........ as that is certainly a pretty light LEDwing (Her Madge-esty had deplaned over Canberra for an investiture ..... see, the sexual spell checker did let it say "tit", so why won't it allow Their Madge-esty to be called a @$&* ?), and being that light, I think it won the f'n Q soaring competition (24 hrs endurance on the Saturday and DDSC to Moorabbin cross-country on the Sunday) when it flew over Dalby last weekend, before it ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 .................fluttered on the wind down to the Antarctic and assisted in the rescue of scientists tourists and bs artists caught when an icebreaker ship wasn't able to break the ice, and couldn't be rescued because another ice breaker couldn't break ice, so was used as a glider (they had to wait for a wind change each end to offload them out onto the deck of a tanker). Without the boat anchor of a Ratex they were able to carry eight people per trip in the now much lighterwing each trip. It had been flown by one of the passengers, who tort himself to fly, because anyone can fly a lightwing, even madgesty's dog. Admittedly the dog tend to do a lot of circles in the circuit due to scratching himself. However, having arrived at Turbo's place without an engine, Turbo looked around and found a spare 15 litre twin turbo Cat engine. "The through bolts are 50 mm diameter, and it will be lighter than the Ratex, and should perform better than a Caron Cub" Turbo told the assembled journalists. "Of course it's only in the concept stage right now, so we do expect a few minor teething issues" he continued and then............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 ....called for a volunteer to try out the new TurboCatWing. "I'll have a shot" suggested 12inchesofbandit, climbing in, and reaching for the controls. "Just wait a sec while I start it" yelled Turbo, reaching for his....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 can of "Startyabastard", and a.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 ....... crucifix, his lucky rabbit's foot, his fortunate dog's paw, his propitious cat's leg and his "evil eye" pendant that matches his other two. "You wouldn't believe it" said Tubb "But I named my TurboCataWing by its development name of "D12" and priced them at $1 million. Since then I have received a heap of orders from dickhead mining guys like Rathole who want them supplied with a coal blade and think that they are getting a bargain. However Kerry Stokes is a bit pee'd off. They are selling like ..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 ....discounted burgers at McDonalds. Too many of them however, and you might find it a little difficult to squeeze into the TurboCataWing and stay under the MTOW of....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 .......... a figure that is in the manual but is often considered as indicative only (NTTIAWWT). "A D12 will tow a D11 with ease" said the Cat salesperson, and Turdy picked up an immediate 7 new orders from Twiggy Woodland who also .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 .....asked that the optional fragrant happiness fox gut sausages be fitted on top of........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 8, 2014 Share Posted January 8, 2014 ........ the microwave near the bar in the galley of the LEDwing (they all have 'em & that is why their owners are always so happy). Meanwhile the people's f'n board member from f'n Q, Madge-esty, had renamed his LEDwing "Britannia" and painted it dark blue, then got carried away and added a funnel and some ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ...red stripes, and a Union Jack, and Christopher Robin's teddy bear, and hung a monocle from the magneto switches which he'd obtained from an antique shop, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ........ Ratpoo responded on the basis of his position as a senior member of the NES Police. "Whoa up there Your Madge-sty. Why would you choose to use antique magneto switches?" "No wuckers" replied the Sty "As I bought 'em from one of f'n Q's finest Boutiques d'Antique, a joint called "TSO'd Anteaks" on the outskirts of Bone, so they must be ok & genuine, and that's the same place that I got .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ".......the special endless rods for welding Ratext exhausts" he said with a straight face, but Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 9, 2014 Share Posted January 9, 2014 ......... all the rest of him was bent into a hideous caricature of an RA-Oz bored board member, with an eye sty that made him look like an Eye-tie, with teeth that made him look like a Grik-guy and with ears that made him look like ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 ......... all the rest of him was bent into a hideous caricature of an RA-Oz bored board member, with an eye sty that made him look like an Eye-tie, with teeth that made him look like a Grik-guy and with ears that made him look like ............. .......... Prince Chuck. "When you see him in that light with the sun shining through his ears, he is indeed madgesterial, isn't he?" asked Prince Ahlow the Charming, rhetorically. "Now that I've been elevated to the RA-OZ Round Table, (for me and Endo are great mates, eh,) I should indeed be next promoted to be the Regent, eh?" said Madge, eh, "But because I'm a f'n antipodian from f'n Mount Perrier in f'n Q, I'll just settle to be appointed f'n GG." "Fair suck of the sauce bottle there Madge" said Turdy "Don't denigrate yourself like that, as you don't look too much like a horse, but then again ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 .............you do look a bit like Royalty (Turbo was in a sucking up phase) Madge preened himself in delight and said (and please don't repeat this) "Would you call me Madgesty Turbo, please, please" And Turbo called him Madgesty From then he sat on the throne each morning, and of course named his airfield "Heathrow" which for once nearly squeezed a laugh out of the poms. The history of the airfield is interesting; it started out as an old cane cutters walking track between the mess tent and Sh$tters Ditch It got plenty of use, because Franco Fairy was the cook, and his mediteranian specialties cooked in six kerosene tins were hard on stomachs used to steak and eggs three times a day. Some wag said the tent had been placed at the top of the hill to give the cutters a good downhill speed when they knew Franco was coming. It was wide too because often eight guys took off at once and were all of equal fitness. So when they built Heathrow the runway required virtually no grading and was wide enough to take a DC3 On particular morning Madge was walking around the wrong side of Townsville, where the five dollar Hookers parade, dressed in his Town Crier suit which Harry the Hirer had hired out as a Governor General uniform, and he was frustrated. He was looking for someone to Knight, but........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Maj Millard Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 ........he ran into Cab Sav driver Ean from the real Heathrow coming out of his favourite hookers house.....holy el said Madge !....is there no sanctity.........watch out called Ean.......I 've just issued a challenge to the bloody Jab drivers to see if they can land at the Eathrow long strip...and I've got to get back to plant some steric ally placed land mines, and I don't mean the cow paddy type. We also need. To make mods to the only windsock...that'll get rid of em !..... Hopefully that guy that tried to get off that Kiwi beach might come and Av a go, we all know Jab are a suburb beach plane....you just Av to look at their ads...as Ean departed an empty Cab Sav bottle flew out the window just missing a surprised Madje and getting Ean right in the ...................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 10, 2014 Share Posted January 10, 2014 ....quoit........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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