The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

52 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.......it does not matter any way because w&b charts do not exist for these aircraft, so loading is not an issue......

...... yes agreed bull, shove as many in the back as will fit he demanded as weight & balance calcs are for wimps ...... and there is a quid to be made.

 

The GT500 (on which bull had stuck a 2nd plastic fuel filler cap to make it look even more like a Lotus) became "the little plane that could" and an enid blyton style story book was devised (with a substantial advance paid by Turbine Publishing) so that .....

Edited February 2, 2023 by Captain

[onetrack]

......bull could get enough money to cover his medical expenses. But then, things took a turn for the worse (bull reference), as lawyers engaged by the Enid Blyton Trust for Children, sent out a strongly worded Lawyers Letter, outlining the fact that Turbine Publishing was infringing on many Enid Blyton copyrights, and they demanded that either Turbine Publishing cease and desist from writing Enid Blyton-style stories (that were obviously copied straight from the pages of many Enid Blyton stories) - or that the Trust receive a major portion of the profits from the sale of "The Little Plane that Could" book.

 

Turbo wasn't fazed in the least by this style of legal warning - he'd had many in the past, and he'd skilfully evaded them all, thanks to his nimbleness in business, and his vast knowledge of the Law.

"These Enid Blyton lawyers don't frighten me in the least", said Turbo loftily. "But one thing that does frighten me, is a GT500 being used as...........

 

Edited February 2, 2023 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

............and following that advice there was a rush of 7328 orders for GT500s; if there weren't any W&B charts you could do what you like with them........................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

............and following that advice there was a rush of 7328 orders for GT500s; if there weren't any W&B charts you could do what you like with them........................

..... , even whack a lycoming in the back to carry more tennis players & evade the ATF & border whallopers.

 

The lycoming powered versions were designated as the GT500 FU series and became widely known in the anals of AUF history as the GT Fxxxxx 500, where they ....

Edited February 2, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....applaud great new designs. There aren’t any awards for engine repairers there because no one’s ever seen one go down.......

[onetrack]

.........because they're so light, whenever a Lycoming just stops (for whatever reason - Lycomings don't need a reason to stop), they end up stuck up in the clouds - which tends to send the media into a frenzy, whenever they find out that a GT Fxxxxx 500 is missing, and is suspected of being holed up in a cloud somewhere, waiting for the aerial version of the RAC to roll up and get the Lyco firing on all 4 again.

 

However, there was always scepticism whenever the news media reported incidents such as GT Fxxxxx 500's stuck in clouds with a failed engine.

"It's just more Murdoch Media BS", cried CT, "Whoever heard of a.......

 

Edited February 4, 2023 by onetrack

[Captain]

On 04/02/2023 at 11:27 AM, onetrack said:

"Whoever heard of a......

...... GT F***** 500 being stuck up?".

 

bull certainly is and Turbo is, without doubt, a little up himself, but they are nicely balanced out by Crappy, SingleRoot, CT and Spacey all having their feet firmly on the ground (avref), however that "balance" is fragile and all it would take is a .....

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

...... GT F***** 500 being stuck up?".

 

bull certainly is and Turbo is, without doubt, a little up himself, but they are nicely balanced out by Crappy, SingleRoot, CT and Spacey all having their feet firmly on the ground (avref), however that "balance" is fragile and all it would take is a .....

Fat arse like Bull to sit up the front of the GT f&^%$g500 with his full 115 kgs and balance this out by..............................

[turboplanner]

.....tying Turbo to the tail after a night out. This always had unintended consequences when Bull practised his Chandells and Half Cubans and sometimes.........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....tying Turbo to the tail after a night out. This always had unintended consequences when Bull practised his Chandells and Half Cubans and sometimes.........................

..... a quarter Puerto Rican named Ricardo who flew a ......

[turboplanner]

...........Piper Cub powered by a 1948 Cadillac flathead, would join in, trying to stay on his wing, but the big Caddie V8 played havoc with the balance and ............................

[CT9000]

......at 588kg. just for the engine did not leave a lot of gross for the rest of the airframe or pilot, not to mention fuel.......

[Captain]

4 hours ago, CT9000 said:

......at 588kg. just for the engine did not leave a lot of gross for the rest of the airframe or pilot, not to mention fuel.......

.... which had not been thought about for many months, let alone mentioned, so there was bugger all in the tank + it was stale, so that .....

Edited February 6, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....little green beings had made their home there using it as a ......................

[bull]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....little green beings had made their home there using it as a ......................

..........shaggin area ,and the local .................

[Captain]

34 minutes ago, bull said:

..........shaggin area ,and the local .................

... bicycle was ......

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

... bicycle was ......

.shared around amongst the boys ,these are the memories that have tormented Turbo ,since his early days as the .............

[onetrack]

..... crack cycling champion, where he lavished constant care and vast amounts of maintenance on his racing bicycle. Thus it pained him greatly to see a bicycle just casually shared around amongst a group of uncaring blokes. Who knows how each one would treat it? Bicycles are basically fragile things, and they must be treated with great care, and not handled roughly.

 

It got worse, as Turbo watched, and saw the bike get dropped on the ground, and the user just walked away. "No! ... No! ... No! ...", cried Turbo, between clenched teeth. "You never, ever, drop a bicycle on the ground carelessly! It can leave them..........

[bull]

2 minutes ago, onetrack said:

It can leave them

.........covered in sand and grit and become rather use.....................

[turboplanner]

....less for what they have to do, often at a minute's notice, and even ..............

[bull]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....less for what they have to do, often at a minute's notice, and even ..............

.....the long term damage is inaccessible to determine and the usefulness is seriously compromised by the.............. 

[turboplanner]

........need to push harder for the same result, and there were injuries which these days are given the name “RSI”, but used to be called..........

 

[Captain]

56 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........need to push harder for the same result, and there were injuries which these days are given the name “RSI”, but used to be called..........

 

..... a wa..........

Edited February 7, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....waggery practitioner, these days better known as a comedian.

On this particular day the Caddy wouldn't start and after the battery gave up Turbo suggested a starting method used by crop dusters, where they would a rope several times around the prop hub, and hooked onto it with a 4WD. bull had never done it before so was a bit hesitant, but CT backed up his shiny new steel grey Chevrolet Silverado with the Cummins engine that made pulling stumps a breeze. He took up the slack, bull yelled "contact" and .....................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

, but CT backed up his shiny new steel grey Chevrolet Silverado with the Cummins engine that made pulling stumps a breeze. He took up the slack, bull yelled "contact" and .....................

...... another bloke swore. We hooked in there for hours, then a God almighty roar. And Frankie kicked a mine the day that mankind kicked the moon. God help me - he was goin' home in June.

 

Oops ....... sorry NESers, Cappy reverted automatically to the Redgum song (and respects to Frankie).

 

Apologies to all, and now back to Turbo's brilliant post (but never mind that Cummins are only fitted as OEM to RAMs, so bull must have done an engine swap to his Silverado) ................. bull yelled "contact" and .......

Edited February 9, 2023 by Captain