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The Never Ending Story


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....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

........ check the nationality of.   "Look bro" the kiwis said "Thut Aussie is coming back for another go at us and ut looks like he has another sex bombs."   "Thut's a wee problem

........ had been misquoted by Turbo bin Plonker, as it was actually "الله أكبر" that he ried as he climbed awat.   This post by Turbo Garbage-Bin had attracted the attention of VicPol and d

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Guest Redair

..."which is quite a mouthfull" and by pure coinsidence, this was the very same thing that the cheerleaders were heard to utter after their encounter with the whale! What we could relly do with, thought the cheerleaders, is some lemon soaked paper napkins... but who would supply them?...

 

 

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Guru Swami did ponder this request

 

and in the true spirit of Gurudom requested further information.

 

Was the request for paper napkins soaked with a lemon flavoured or a lemon coloured solution?

 

The latter he opined he could supply given sufficient notice and a priming XXXX or two

 

 

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Guest Redair

..the offer of which, led the cheerleaders to conclude the following... if the sperm whale was giving one kind of donation, and Guru was giving another kind, they really wouldn't know if they were coming or going! So they decided to do the only thing that they could in such a situation.... have a large.....

 

 

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party and share the love.

 

It was about this point in time that things got out of hand and the censorship board slapped an XXX rating on proceedings.

 

Well that was until.....

 

 

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....Bronwyn B declared the gathering a new Politcal Party called "If you think the current government sucks, wait to you try us."

 

She was last seen trying to work out an acronym for the above. Meanwhile back at OzStork HQ the latest machine was about to make it's (here's a chance for some good rumers - don't let me down!) debut.........

 

 

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The new invention from OzStork seems to be not forthcoming, so Bigglesworth switched allegiance to AACME (Australian ACME) Ultra Aircraft (sic).

 

Their new design involved an automatic restarter which works on forum threads about never ending stories with sad endings.

 

Obviously AACME was no better than the rest, therefore............

 

 

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.....We interupt this ongoing saga to bring you the latest OZStork rumers. 024_cool.gif.e4faea8b8d6d5d6e548e269d4b8acbd2.gif

 

1. We believe Bigglesworth to be a double agent - don't believe anything he says about OZStork (Unless of course you think he's on our side - then you can take him as gospel) 040_nerd.gif.818f42a429bd433d10428d88b6b4d49f.gif:nerd:

 

2. there will be another attempt at an Echuca Flyin - we're just trying to figure it out as an (aircraft related incident - so there's no blame if it comes off or not) :big_grin:

 

3. the latest offering from OZStork will feature, retractable undercarriage, in air adjustable prop, 3 seats (in case the rules change), 260hp at 2600rpm (you guys will believe anything), DVD and widescreen with the Foxtail option, (for all you old Holden 179 EH owners (my god and you guys are now flying!!!)) AND any colour from the light spectrum (as long as it is white)

 

WE just need to find room for a few essentials within the weight limit (like pilot and fuel) before we commence production. :yuk:

 

(Bigglesworth its getting cold outside and your dinner is on the table)

 

we now return you to the current program........

 

 

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Guru Swami buggertherestofyouimallrightthanksjack-gee (it's a hyphenated swami name ...ok :thumb_up:....).... stamped his collective slippers and stated that this rumer mongering double agent swinging twin overhead foxtails selling must stop this instant for it was not a peaceful thing.

 

"We would offend the greenies and the whale if it kept on and perish the thought that the fox would find out where his tail had gone!" the Swami chanted...

 

Just then Basil Brush arrived complete with his onterage..... "Oh Sh:censored:" exclaimed the Guru.....

 

 

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.......at last count Guru Swami (buggemetohismates) had well over 60,000 loyal and dedicated followers, who acted immediatly on his command........

 

"Now who the hell is going to clean up all this Sh:censored:." exclaimed his wife 113_im_with_stupid.gif.d45bc13dd386fe8822f6b5bda0f59e40.gif. Fortunately the multitude only follows HIS commands.

 

The Swarmi's wife was no looker :yuk::yuk::yuk: - but she did have a few brains. :confused: (she did not however believe that Bigglesworth was a double agent "he's alway off somewhere with his soppy camel and some hair brained mate called Ginger looking for the Bosche." thumb_down "The swarmi swears by Champion - wouldn't put anything else in his plug hole."

 

Just then, Ginger and some growth called Algie nockewd (yes, I know it's a spelling mistake - deal with it!) on the front door......

 

regards

 

 

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Guest Redair

...the door was opened by the three bears. Daddy bear dived on poor Algie and tore him to pieces right in front of Ginger, and then ate all the pieces. Ginger called 000 and the Police arrived... "What happened here? asked the constable. Well said Ginger, Algie met a bear, the bear met Algie, the bear grew bulgy, the bulge was Algie! So the constable arrested Ginger for wasting police rhyme, and took him rather roughly...

 

 

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But one kind cop said "sonny, you are lucky the bear doesn't like ginger flavoured Algy, your name might get you eaten one day, like Algy's did"

 

Meanwhile Bigglesworth thinks all is fine since he always called his mate Algernoon and this Algae bloke was just a water problem.

 

He is busy speading the news that the latest thing stolen from the OzStork files in the top of the WaterTank Hotel is that their latest invention has everything from blow-up hostesses and automatic bundy dispensers to foxtails in mink (to stop greenies complaining about fox cruelty), but no wings. They got left out by clerical error.

 

Totally unlike AACME's latest pony....................

 

 

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..which does have wings all-be-in stuck on with bees wax wings hence the "not too close to the sun" prohibition in the POH.

 

OzStork meanwhile don't need any wingy thingy on their new model since the power of their new OzStork/techrev hybrid engine device is such that wings are superfulous.

 

 

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Time to use the forum restarter. First insert handle "H" into socket "ouch"

 

Ok forget that.

 

How about someone has an accident and people can add why it didn't happen thinking that it actually did.

 

So Birdbrain is reported last seen in a hospital, with no plane left in the hangar and an ugly stain on......................................

 

 

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Guru Swamis nice new white robe. The Guru swore. A brand new robe and its got a..

..... skidmark on it.

 

 

 

"I know" she said, "We'll use some of Redair's lemon soaked paper knapkins to get it off, for he or she obviously has a bit of a fettish for lemon on paper", which just proves that lemon is the essence of the problem (unless it is real lemon juice that Redair uses) to .....

 

 

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  • 1 month later...

Curiosity grows as to why Ian had such a large bundle of 'fiddies' that needed laundering. Could it be that ClearProp is going ahead in leaps and bounds, but the customers' money is all oil stained from leaky aircraft engines?

 

Or was it as simple as.....

 

 

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he now has a mortgage 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif, a wife and kids - he swore that he had more when he put it into the dryer but his wife, in true wifely fashion hell bent on reducing that large bundle of 'fiddies', must have turned the dryer up to full bore 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif.

 

Now realising he didn't have the bargaining power that he first thought, he...

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

was naturally feeling very despondant, but, he was fortunate enough to find one of his fiddies still wet and stuck to the side of the washing machine. He took it into his office and decided that the ultra-violet light in his new fangled Cannon printer would be a far gentler way of drying it. He stuck it in the machine hit the copy and repeat button for extra drying, and before he knew it there was a great heap of new fiddies piling up before his very eyes:big_grin::big_grin::big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:. WOW! he thought, maybe, there's a chance I

 

 

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...may even make enough money to pay for the ink I've already used in the new printer. :yuk: (Ian (bless him)) had not realized (like everyone else on the planet) that allthough the new printer was only $19.95, the cost of the ink was on par with the cost of running CASA for a full year. 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif:crying:051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif

 

Suddenly, the door burst open and there stood ........

 

regards :big_grin::big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

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Guest palexxxx

.........Wayne Swan.

 

"Now Ian," he said, "I'll tell you something in the strictest confidence, our economy is in deep doodoo's. I'm a few mill short to pay for all the promises I've made, can you let me know how your .....ahem..... ingenious capital making machine works?"

 

With that Ian said, ".........

 

 

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Some many hours later, the little rooster knew that what Ian had told him was the only way out of his mess. He resolved himself to stand before the parliament and admit that......

 

 

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