The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

16 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....something similar to the putrefaction and decaying pong, that constantly surrounded Cappys residence, which always had a massive pile of......

 

... Quokka poo outside, as Cappy had brilliantly stolen 3 nymphomaniacal breeding pairs from Rotty that had soon begat thousands of the little buggers, which are now being sold as salt-bush lamb in eastern butcheries, where the easterners just love the ........

 

THIS LITTLE BLOKE HAS BEEN GOING AT IT SINCE HE WAS

RELOCATED AND HE HAS BEGATTED THOUSANDS OF 'EM, 

HENCE THE SMILE ON HIS DIAL.

Edited October 7, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

15 minutes ago, Captain said:

THE ORIGINAL WA SAND-MONKEY EPITHET WAS 1ST

COINED BY ABBA DURING THEIR VISIT TO THE WILD WEST

EXPLANATION FOR THE UNSOPHISTIMOCATED - Sung to the tune of Mumma Mia but in 3 - 4 time.

[turboplanner]

Mining Tailings that Cappy used to bring home in the HQ Ute, and wash in search of that elisive dollar ot two or ............

[onetrack]

.....shiny flecks of sparkling pyrites, which were great for flogging to unsuspecting wood ducks at the Kapooka Weekend fleamarkets, as genuine Gold from the Land of the Men of Legend - W.A.

Cappy never failed to mention that the W.A.-sourced gold he sold from the tailings, was as genuine as you could get - but always failed to mention, he actually meant "genuine fools gold".

Then came the day, one buyer at the market asked if Cappy could......

[turboplanner]

.........make a special pendant in 9 ct gold.

Of course, we all know that if you try to melt pyrites it just turns black (well Turbo does; that was the end of his "Just Gold" business).

The Captain has always been a thinker, and he took the commission, paying for his own gold. The return on that one payout in word of mouth sales was 700%, so he ..................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The Captain has always been a thinker, and he took the commission, paying for his own gold. The return on that one payout in word of mouth sales was 700%, so he .........

...... bought and commissioned the world's first pyrites mine and floated it on the NY exchange, where he knocked back immediate takeover offers from Elon and the Twigster, plus a proposal of marriage from Nancy Pelosi (who actually doesn't look quite so bad when you see her in the flesh, although you can still see why Paul hits the grog).

 

"I bought a pallet of gold paint spray cans from Cheap Charley's and sold about half a tonne of pyrite in the 1st week of being on the exchange, all sprayed to look like ........

[turboplanner]

Colonel Sanders Chicken Nuggets."

"As we know" continued Cappy(a master marketer) Americans need to relate a new product to something they've always known. For example Bing Crosby was still topping the Christmas charts until one day someone from KWKH Shreveport said "Think I heard somewhere he'd died, and when he googled it found Bing had croaked 40 years previously." 

The others all nodded and started to make share offers. Cappy always cleaned out those closest to him first, then................

[onetrack]

.....he'd turn his attention to those who he knew were both loaded, and who wouldn't be bothered with chasing him down, if all their investment share values tanked to zero within weeks of the shares being issued.

 

Meantimes, Cappy was planning to arrange the refurbishment of a 33rd storey entire office block in either Sydney or Melbourne, planning to order several new Mercedes SUV's (all in the company name, of course - and there were several on order, because you couldn't drive the same one, two days in a row) - and then there was the little matter of which size Riviera luxury Motorised Sports Cruiser to purchase (in the name of company promotion and client entertainment, of course).

 

The expenditure on corporate requirements was obviously going to take up a serious amount of the funding from the first share placement, so a second placement was on the cards.

In that second placement, provision would have to be made for a company Learjet 75 Liberty for local touring, and a Dassault Falcon 6X (desperately-needed Avref) for extended international visits to the loyal followers.

 

Then there was the matter of appointing a suitable CEO to oversee operations and to tend to the media ratpacks. This wasn't a job for the faint-hearted, and Cappy thought long and hard, before he decided to offer the position to....

 

Edited October 8, 2022 by onetrack

[Captain]

....... Planey, a proven thick-skinned operator who ......

[turboplanner]

.....had won a lottery ticket in 2018, bought a top floor apartment on the Goldy, and was restoring an Opel Facet.

This was interesting because Turbo would have chosen the Opel Facet II which had bigger wheels, and was more suitable for landing on grass. Astute NES readers will remember that the Opel Facet could get bogged on bitumen.

 

Those were the days when AUF Committee Members knifed each other with consumate skill, and introduced new rules on the hour, such as ...................

 

 

 

[Captain]

On 13/10/2022 at 5:36 AM, turboplanner said:

Those were the days when AUF Committee Members knifed each other with consumate skill, and introduced new rules on the hour, such as ...................

....... taking the Opel Facet (I) off the register and expunging the membership of all kit builders ..... and even those that conducted a search for an Opel Facet (I) via any of the 13 major search engines, even those that use Duck Duck Go (That bloke that owns Google and that Mark Frankenberg kiddie that runs Faceplant have recognized the power of the AUF Committee Members and decided that it is easier to toe the line than cop a nasty tome from E-Paulette in Tazzy.

 

But the Opel Facet continued from strength to strength, thanks to the redesigns published by some trucking bloke in Mextoria and sales were ......... 

 

WHO WOULDN'T LUST AFTER ONE OF THESE?

CAPPY WON'T BE ABLE TO STAND UP STRAIGHT FOR 30 MINUTES AFTER SEEING THIS PHOTO.

Edited October 13, 2022 by Captain

[planedriver]

also including modifications where the pilots seat was firmly attached to the trailing edge with old truck tie-down straps, to minimise unexpected excursions from the planned heading.

[Captain]

1 hour ago, planedriver said:

also including modifications where the pilots seat was firmly attached to the trailing edge with old truck tie-down straps, to minimise unexpected excursions from the planned heading.

This accurate, succinct, deft yet damning description by Planey of some of that trucking blokes suggested and subsequently mandated alterations to the Opel Facet (which looks exactly like a control-line Rat Racer (diesel only as glow plugs were too expensive) that I built as a nipper and which died a spectacular death in a park in Concord, NSW).

 

With the TurgidPlonker's mandated mods, the Opel Faucet is now up to iteration 36 and is ....... 

[turboplanner]

.......likely to fly in spirals. This is because Planey used the old truck tie-down straps, which caused a vortex action in the Y axis, so.........

 

 

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......likely to fly in spirals. This is because Planey used the old truck tie-down straps, which caused a vortex action in the Y axis, so.........

 

 

....... new tiedowns were ordered (however supply chain issues will not see them delivered before February [24]) and the type was grounded.

 

But in true AUF fashion, that was not a barrier to fun and flying by the Opel Facet owners' group (the OFOG) and six of them have been videoed circling (some critics may call it spiraling) around country ........

Edited October 14, 2022 by Captain

[planedriver]

However Plane Drivel "the thick skinned operator" is not offended, or at all put off, by these necessary mods and following comments .

He too, being an avid aircraft designer from past decades, also designed and flew many control line models similar in appearance to the Facet Opal, and was used to the unexpected arrival of many, leaving him with a somewhat embarrassed look simply holding onto the control line handle.

However, now aged 79 he is concentrating on developing a personal deodorant for old modellers which smells like burned caster oil, in the hopes of making enough money to pay off his funeral plan.

Seeing that there's many similar old geezers on here, he's feeling confident of making his sales target. because.................

[Captain]

8 minutes ago, planedriver said:

However Plane Drivel "the thick skinned operator" is not offended, or at all put off, by these necessary mods and following comments .

He too, being an avid aircraft designer from past decades, also designed and flew many control line models similar in appearance to the Facet Opal, and was used to the unexpected arrival of many, leaving him with a somewhat embarrassed look simply holding onto the control line handle.

However, now aged 79 he is concentrating on developing a personal deodorant for old modellers which smells like burned caster oil, in the hopes of making enough money to pay off his funeral plan.

Seeing that there's many similar old geezers on here, he's feeling confident of making his sales target. because.................

And with that Planey revives the memory from the 50's and 60's of Ether, Castor Oil, cut fingers on plastic props, control line giddiness, spin the bottle and nubile firm young ladies ..... then followed by car& bike racing, Castrol R and more young ladies. life was pretty good.

 

Edited October 14, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

46 minutes ago, Captain said:

And with that Planey revives the memory from the 50's and 60's of Ether, Castor Oil, cut fingers on plastic props, control line giddiness, spin the bottle and nubile firm young ladies ..... then followed by car& bike racing, Castrol R and more young ladies. life was pretty good.

 

Cappy had come to a full stop, overcome with memories of Peggy Sue, surf beaches and ..........

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUesbTObC9A

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NorKPVdIBeY

 

[Captain]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy had come to a full stop, overcome with memories of Peggy Sue, surf beaches and ........

...... while feeling melancholy, Cappy admits to being overcome by PS and other NES BS, which lead to Planey, Turdboy, bull and the SingleRoot choosing to .......

[turboplanner]

..........invite 2,000 people to the "NES Opals BNS Ball and Ute Circling Championship.", entry fee $500.00, females free. This always ensured there was plenty of talent to choose from.

The band was The Crooked ....................................................

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........invite 2,000 people to the "NES Opals BNS Ball and Ute Circling Championship.", entry fee $500.00, females free. This always ensured there was plenty of talent to choose from.

The band was The Crooked ....................................................

,,,,, Committee Members (TCCM) which was a clever yet subtle yet pointed dig at the standard of the Committee at the time.

 

"Wow, free females" said bull, "I'll have a gross please" as the very lovable and virile bull had, unexplainably since leaving Bone, been missing out a bit (quite a lot actually) since the extravagances of what was then known as the Bone B&S Ball, but little known to outsiders, the "B&S" up in Bone really stood for ......

[turboplanner]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

,,,,, Committee Members (TCCM) which was a clever yet subtle yet pointed dig at the standard of the Committee at the time.

 

"Wow, free females" said bull, "I'll have a gross please" as the very lovable and virile bull had, unexplainably since leaving Bone, been missing out a bit (quite a lot actually) since the extravagances of what was then known as the Bone B&S Ball, but little known to outsiders, the "B&S" up in Bone really stood for ......

Fish and Chips at the Bone RSL. As we know Turbo had once visited this location, and we are delilberately using a neutral word. We can't tell you why the change occurred due to this site's strict rules about talking BS, slagging off at CASA, mentioning        or indeed using rude words, but .................

[bull]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Fish and Chips at the Bone RSL. As we know Turbo had once visited this location, and we are delilberately using a neutral word. We can't tell you why the change occurred due to this site's strict rules about talking BS, slagging off at CASA, mentioning        or indeed using rude words, but .................

.the bullshit about the Bone Rissole and the acts performed there by Mavis in her younger days [Mavis,s cousin at the Bone RSL] would make your..............

Edited October 15, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

....eyes water.

Her cousin shown above is exaggerating of course but she and bull were the dance floor champions at The Caneland Festival each year until without warning Cappy grabbed Mavis one year, and let's say (because some Queenslanders do read the NES) they just broke the rules, and the Committee were .............

[planedriver]

reflecting how she pulled the crowds in. She loved dancing the Quaker which was a popular dance back then. Unbeknown to many, it involved a quick twice around the dance floor then out for your oats.

Turbo who'd been an aspiring DJ back in those days and understood technical things, was known to slyly creep in and lift the record players repeat arm which contributed to a much later but satisfying night.

Bull and his boy scout mates were somewhat overcome by all the goings on and left in typical scout form, even though they had been indoctrinated with their motto of "Be Prepared" It was also apparent that SingleRoot was no good at math and required further studies.