The Never Ending Story

[facthunter]

You have the flow wrong Capt. The "I" remains the same "I". Nev

 

 

[Bryon]

Clarification needed

 

Is that the "wrong Captain" in which case, why does he have the flow?

 

If he is the "right" captain, why is the flow wrong, and

 

what is a 'flow"

 

And where is Eppaulette when you need him to explain why...........

 

 

[Captain]

You have the flow wrong Capt. The "I" remains the same "I". Nev

FURTHER SCANDAL

 

Nev denies his own sexuality.

 

"This is a very sad case" said Betina Aunt "And is typical of suppressed monosexual desires that are prevalent in the world of fast cars, loose women, dashing fly-boys, flambouyant aviation and big money that is typical of RAA members. I can't for the life of me see why Nev would'nt find Ahlox terribly attractive, as indeed do I" she added.

 

And where is Eppaulette when you need him to explain why...........

...... he is licking his wounds and designing a new Air Field-Marshal's outfit to wear at Natfly, this time with platinum baubles and a ..................

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

very attractive set of PIC activated lighted epaulettes that can be used when others in a discussion get sidetracked away from the most important subject, being anything not to do with finances........"These are almost hypnotic in nature" he said, "I put them on and a silence descends on the crowd...Cant tell if its stunned amazement or they are then under my hypnotic control....Though I very much suspect more of the former and less of the latter, cause it didnt seem to work at the extrodinarily ordinary GM of last Staurday"......

 

 

[Captain]

............ and they go well with a look that I am perfecting, which is a cross between a rabbit in a spotlight, a roo in the headlights, a stunned mullet, Ahlox under the moonlight, Andy on the hat in the torchlight, and the 12 Incher under a porchlight when he got sprung with his .............

 

 

[ayavner]

.... worn-out copy of Pride and Prejudice...

 

 

[Captain]

.... worn-out copy of Pride and Prejudice...

..... and Prim and Proper, but as Mrs Lox often says to me, she'll do anything to prevent pre-ignition as Loxy preens himself in a hope to prevent premature premarital PIO with his pretzel that had pre-shrunk to a ...............

 

 

[ayavner]

.... more manageable size....

 

 

[Guest Maj Millard]

.....................even though on his Filopino Cupid site he was being made 'my favorite' by more pretty tagalog-speaking asian girls than you would find in a Minilla brothel on a saturday night. It must have been that in-cockpit pilot photo that he posted on his profile. They are probabily WW2 warbabies' grandchildrens' grandchildren, after the yanks were based there, and they reckon that pilot shot looks just like one of their grandfathers !.... if they only knew it was just the Maj with his...............................

[Captain]

[ATTACH=full]20797[/ATTACH] .....................even though on his Filopino Cupid site he was being made 'my favorite' by more pretty tagalog-speaking asian girls than you would find in a Minilla brothel on a saturday night. It must have been that in-cockpit pilot photo that he posted on his profile. They are probabily WW2 warbabies' grandchildrens' grandchildren, after the yanks were based there, and they reckon that pilot shot looks just like one of their grandfathers !.... if they only knew it was just the Maj with his...............................

..... hair dyed, as he usually looks like one of their (not so) great grandpaaas.

 

"Woopee" said Nanna "Those fly-boy porsche design type Raybans almost make Madge look like a bloke, and the 3.30 o'clock shadow makes him/her (NTTIAWWT) look rugged and like an Aussie cricketer too."

 

"In F'nQ, those glasses are from Porch Design" explained bull-from-bone "And once they are designed out on the porch, they are manufactured in the back passage."

 

"And I see that Madge now has left and right on his headphones" added Ratty "But what you can't see is that he also has "up" and "down" on them too, and since afixing those labels he has had much less trouble getting them to work effectively."

 

"That's a great idea" said Ahlox "Where's me Dymo and I'll make some signs that say .....................

 

 

[turboplanner]

...."on" and "off" so I don't forget to put them on, and they won't fall off.

 

"I had those signs put on for a reason" whimpered Madge " I'm right eared; isn't everyone?"

 

"Not............."

 

 

[Captain]

...."on" and "off" so I don't forget to put them on, and they won't fall off."I had those signs put on for a reason" whimpered Madge " I'm right eared; isn't everyone?"

 

"Not............."

... those south of the border, as most of us down this way have an ear on both sides of our heads.

 

"I also have signs on that headset that say "Ears" and "Mouth"" added Madge "As sometimes it took me a long time to get them on right, and I was using about 50 litres of fuel each flight before I could give my taxi call"

 

"What's a taxi call?" asked Andy (who is legandary at Coffs for his radio technique), as he filled another hat and moved on to the next one, a rather jaunty beret that Ahlox likes to use to disguise his ............

 

 

[Guest Andys@coffs]

Identity from the landing fees police when he does give a taxi call. Andy mumbled whether calling for a taxi or calling to taxi the result is the same my wallet becomes lighter perhaps if i do need to taxi i should use the loxy szara callsign, in fact as i transit across this great southern land i should use the szara callsign at every opportunity so as the aviation world starts to pay serious attention to the szara. Unaware of the financial disaster he had just set in motion, he just for a moment had the stunned treasurer look but then he grabed his hat and started another motion to........

 

 

[Captain]

Identity from the landing fees police when he does give a taxi call. Andy mumbled whether calling for a taxi or calling to taxi the result is the same my wallet becomes lighter perhaps if i do need to taxi i should use the loxy szara callsign, in fact as i transit across this great southern land i should use the szara callsign at every opportunity so as the aviation world starts to pay serious attention to the szara. Unaware of the financial disaster he had just set in motion, he just for a moment had the stunned treasurer look but then he grabed his hat and started another motion to........

..... see if he had a seconder, but then it was realised that it was already number 2's.

 

So Andy used the Szara's callsign so as to dodge landing fees, but at each airport he noticed something that he had never seen before in his 230.

 

Andy would call "All stations Coffs, this is the Szara 5*** Loxies numbers" and people would immediately throw themselves on the ground with their hands over their faces to protect their eyes ...... old folks would have heart flutters, pregnant ladies would commence contractions and ladies who were trying to get pregnant would be put off their shot. (Collectively they looked like the people of Pompei that have been dig out of the ruins). Even little kids and dogs were terrified.

 

 

"Can't be the Szara" the Shatterer observed "As they are as reliable a beer can as you can find, so the panic must be caused by .................

 

 

[turboplanner]

"It's what you do when you want to go somewhere in a taxi" said Maggot who'd lost time looking it up on the internet, as he always did. He always pushed in to others conversations too, usually slipping totally off the subject matter. "I've caught many taxis of course" he said proudly puffing his little chest and.....

 

 

[Captain]

"It's what you do when you want to go somewhere in a taxi" said Maggot who'd lost time looking it up on the internet, as he always did. He always pushed in to others conversations too, usually slipping totally off the subject matter. "I've caught many taxis of course" he said proudly puffing his little chest and.....

..... I'm in favour of the Mining & Possum Skinned G'String Taxes too, let alone those that sanction those pill popping truck drivers in those crappy looking new Cat prime movers ............ but then the little Grub hit the deck in fear and started shaking.

 

"Is that a Tsunami?" asked Tubb, and then he heard the much more dreaded sound.

 

It was Andre the chapeau déféquer.

 

"Moorabin traffic, this is Szara 5*** (Poxy's numbers) 20 miles to the northeast, inbound on descent (if I can keep that funny little needle thing pointing down below the line a bit), estimating the circuit area in oh, lets say, at a guess, if I really stand on it, something like, maybe, with luck, about 50 minutes, and anticipating .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....your advice..mate."

 

"We have no Rex, no QLink, no pregnant ladies, so when you come in get in the line, stay in the line, don't move aside, don't get out of line and for Christ's sake stop talking - we've got a lot of aircraft to get down here.........................no, on second thoughts call me on o41OE and I'll talk you down, I've heard your friggin' radio procedure"

 

"When do you want me to call?" meekly asked Loxette

 

"................."

 

 

[bull]

on-third-thought-the-controller-said,,,,,,,,,,Stuff-it-just-whack-it-down-on-the-taxi-[aviation-term]-way-and-park-the-thing-like-you-did-last-time.................

 

 

[Bryon]

....even though we told you not to.

 

"He is just a naughty boy" said Mavis

 

"Why, even sometimes when I go to punish him, he is already waiting with his .........

 

 

[Captain]

....even though we told you not to."He is just a naughty boy" said Mavis

 

"Why, even sometimes when I go to punish him, he is already waiting with his .........

..... legs akimbo and a couple of the Szara's rivets ready for insertion. He never actually looks at me but he always asks "That's not the 12 incher is it"?, before he breathes a sign of relief and .............

 

 

[turboplanner]

.....but Kimbo was not amused "Why is it always ME!" he said. "Why......."

 

 

[Captain]

.....but Kimbo was not amused "Why is it always ME!" he said. "Why......."

.... are people so unkind."

 

"Well bugger me" said the 12 incher (Not that there is anything wrong with that). "I always suspected that Kamahl was lurking here, and that Ahlox was his model for the "Little Drummer Boy", but I never thought that ..................

 

 

[turboplanner]

...Ahlox had received formal training in banging."

 

"He's so erratic" said ...

 

 

[Captain]

...Ahlox had received formal training in banging.""He's so erratic" said ...

..... Eeeeen who knew him intimately from his supervision of PoxyLoxy's Moderati Magnifcenti Ordinarementi.

 

"But he is erotically erratic (and also erogenous, errantry but error-prone, erectile (& eruptive), erudite and eremite)" commented Andy, who had also played the Little Drummer Boy in Kindy (so he had empathy for GoldyLox), before he reached puberty and started to ..............

 

 

[turboplanner]

........play Chopin and Bach, when his mother pointed out that he continued to play with Chopin's kind he'd eventually be doing a lot more than baching, and also...........