Captain Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 DING! Achoo!! Tubz toiled on............. Thump, Thump, Thump he went as he upsized to a bigger cold chisel and an 8 lb sledgy. "Next I'll use those timber cutter's wedges at the museum .......... or perhaps this is a female EvenRuder and I should use a bottle of champagne" "It's a ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Thump, Thump, Thump he went as he upsized to a bigger cold chisel and an 8 lb sledgy. "Next I'll use those timber cutter's wedges at the museum .......... or perhaps this is a female EvenRuder and I should use a bottle of champagne" "It's a ............ "month since I started bashing and it's still not off yet" said Tubb. "I get a guy in now and again with a Cat D7 to landscape the front garden, I'll just wait until he comes and then tie the front of the boat to the shed", said Tubb "That's how strong fibreglass is" he said for the benefit of the "I hate Jabs" group. He had noticed that most of the complainants had never owned them, or never flown them, or never seen them, and he was pretty sure some of them were from the opposition who built aircraft with aluminium as they did in the last Century when paper and dope became short. Little did they know that in the wake of the airbus which dragged its tail like a constipated dog, there was about to be a RIVET RECALL, which would rock the world of aviation...... at this point Turbo wishes to express his shock at the revelations about Tomo and his wooly girlfriends - he seemed like such a nice person too..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 ...... there was about to be a RIVET RECALL. "Ahh yes! Rivet 109,347L. A pretty little fastener, if ever there was one." ....i_dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 [quote=turboplanner;108729built aircraft with aluminium as they did in the last Century when paper and dope became short. Little did they know that in the wake of the airbus which dragged its tail like a constipated dog, there was about to be a RIVET RECALL, which would rock the world of aviation...... But unfortunately you cannot have a recall for dumbass decisions as the plastic fantastic airbus which had got over it's constipation decintegrated in a storm, the only thing left was the aluminium seats. But to not bag the Jabs as I have been scalled for before there might be a market for the Jab motors they can be used in turbo's mates dozer, what a perfect application for an engine that self destructs at 5000rpm;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 ...as the plastic fantastic airbus... Pssst!, Scarebuses are mostly old coke cans and rivets with only a few bits of plastic....They are fright by wire which is probably where the confusion comes from. 'Scarebus has experienced an unexpected error. Faulting module: StormDetect8F461GX0E.DLL Please save all work and reboot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 'Scarebus has experienced an unexpected error. Faulting module: StormDetect8F461GX0E.DLL Please save all work and reboot :laugh:if you problem persists please take it back to your dealer and we will lend you a 727 while we send it away for repairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Turbo realised that he too had stepped in the poo, because on the Scarebus even the hinges were glue. So his lack of technical knowledge had been caught out as it was when he started his first still in the hills around Korumburra. He'd been thinking seriously about a change of motor for the Signature, and two Jab Motors sounded like a good proposition. You'd buy them a year or so apart, so when they self destructed (Turbo loved to scream through the jetski designated areas at 500 rpm, winding the steering wheel from left to right faster than Paris Hilton), you'd still have one working engine, rather tan having to sit there drifting ever so slowly closer to 100,000 gawking Greeks. You'd have to restrict operations to hit days of course because everyone onows that on a cold morning Jabortion engines are harder to start than a Lanz Bulldog tractor, and that needs an oxy torch. ("Aah!" said Turbo, who could be lighning fast on the uptake, but a bit slow in perspective)................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 at this point Turbo wishes to express his shock at the revelations about Tomo and his wooly girlfriends - he seemed like such a nice person too..... 'Tis a shame really! mussed ditdot... twas just the coincidence of a fabulous rhyme that turned into incidental confusion shocking Tubblet... "Don't be afraid YELLED Mchalolks" he twasn't meaning to confuse all you folk about ewe's sitting in pews, and glues that screw airbuses doors to the fuse.... Pheww!:ah_oh: But instead He's confusing him self rambling on about to's and too's and two's and pews and ewe's and screws that I'm turning all a blue's.....! Anyway where were we???........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted June 21, 2009 Share Posted June 21, 2009 Anyway where were we???........... We were all in awe of Tubblets new powertrain in his signature, it's a shame about the 500rpm thing and why doesn't he govern it to 4900rpm. Why cause at that level of power his is getting outrun by ditdot in his trusty drifter. And the race is on Tublet is in the lead sreaming through the Jetski area spraying a ten foot wake up at the greeks and just when he thought he had won he seess the geeks infamous hand language pointing up and mmmwwwwwwwwwwping ping rattle rattle:loopy: ditdot comes flying through inverted at nearly mach 1 in the trusty drifter. After he was gone all that could be seen was the trail of 2 stroke smoke:radioactive: just like the smoke in Red Bull. Dam said Tubblet, I might repower the Signature with a pair of Blueheads, then I will always have two engines and even at 6000rpm....;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 ........when he started his first still in the hills around Korumburra....... "Bugger the Jab jokes for a moment." interrupted McLoch "First still?!...is tink 'fessing up to being a banjo playing moonshiner?" :ah_oh: "Could explain his facination with go fast cars and boats..." added The Rat. "Wonder if he knows Daisy Duke??" thought Thompson :heart::heart:, "Her blonde curly hair reminds me of poll dorsets"...:heart::confused: =============== Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 22, 2009 Share Posted June 22, 2009 "Wonder if he knows Daisy Duke??" thought Thompson :heart::heart:, "Her blonde curly hair reminds me of poll dorsets"...:heart::confused: "Did I know Daisy Dooook?" repeated Tink. "I "knew" her when she was new ..... and undefiled ...... because she was my seeeester ...... and we were a family that was not afraid to show our affection (a bit like this fine aviation family here on this website ..... where Ian is my brother, Tomo the Homo is the black dorset, the Ahlovackian is the mid European in hiding in some dark forest and is wanted by some Court or other, BlaBla has been convicted for Jab hatred, and I am sentenced to hard labour with this cold chisel and sledgy on the Rude-Pile of life.)" "And to think that I am one of the best things to ever come out of Korumburra" he added "Except for ........ My Aunt's accounts payable section said "Where's the bill, Ahlow?" PS .... Could our very own McJocklocksazvic perhaps actually be Radovan Karadzic ..... in drag ..... but masquerading as a member of the MLA for legitimacy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 "PS .... Could our very own McJocklocksazvic perhaps actually be Radovan Karadzic ..... in drag ..... but masquerading as a member of the MLA for legitimacy? "I don't think so" said Turbo, "But I do know he was a member of the MIA, and the plantation that was found at Coleambally all thoss years ago was next to his, which had been disguised as a project for the Coleambally Primary School children, who travelled out every day for a gardening class. In the finish he had to tell the bus driver to bugger off and leave him alone becaise by the time they'd smoked their share there was nothing left to sell." The Rivet had finally seen that his ways were wrong became a fireman so he could sit around all day and read back issues of "Who" Meanwhile ditDot had finally realised the futility of driving what would have been better left as a Hills Hoist, and started learning how to fly an aircraft, admitting that he landed it sideways because he couldn't tell the front from the side. The thousands of Recreational Aero lurkers immediately voted him the most honest of them all, not realising he was an alien and morse code was the only language his mother taught him - they didn't speak to each other out there on the planet Sherker...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Meanwhile dotDash was continuing lessons in a real aircraft rather than a flying stock gate...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted June 24, 2009 Share Posted June 24, 2009 Meanwhile dotDash was continuing lessons in a real aircraft rather than a flying stock gate...... Only in America... sigh!.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 ...from somewhere out in space near Saturn came a ticking sound. Or was it? ".....dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dot dash....." There was only one person who could iedentify the pattern, but the problm was that even he was going to have some difficulty because just when a word started to form the sequence was interrupted by Dire Straits music and hill billy songs. Could it be?......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 28, 2009 Share Posted June 28, 2009 ...Could it be?......... ...... Tomo the Homo-sapian?, Bingles the $4.57-worth?, or Slobodan (the slobberer) Millosovic the SportStardriver? But no, it was slartiphartblast with his afterburners a-blazing (gotta flare off that methane to save the vironment), his camera a-clicking, his MAW sales pitch a-sprewking and his administratorship a-banning. "He's always been a bit dotty" said some brave soul, but what are the dits all about? "It's his ............ My Aunt with her telescope out in the garden, advised that it wasn't Saturn, it was Uranus ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 "It's his ............ "obsession with cats" said Turbo. "He's manouevred his pussy into every strategic spot at every airshow, and flaunted it on every magazine issue in the country to the point where I wouldn't be at all surprised to see it flaunted in Who magazine." Turbo couldn't explain more because he was texting this entry via satelite as he drove north from Albury, when "beep beep", his phone lost signal, and he knew he was approaching Wagga Wagga. He saw a sign for The Rock and got the camera out so he could show Big2$ he featureless terrain.......and found out BigLes was right! Someone has shifted the The Rock.....it's nowhere to be seen near the town any more. Realising that New South wales people were different and were probably selling the dirt to China disguised as iron ore he drove on finally arriving in the City of Wagga Wagga where he decided to have a cup of coffee. He noticed a poor pilgrim who had obviously become lost and decided to have a sleep on the footpath, but even as he was taking this in, a Police Wagon screeched around the corner and two burly policewomen got out, jerked the poor unfortunate off the ground, and before he could open his mouth, flung him into the wagon. He was white, but could possibly have been Jewish. Turbo conducted his business in the town, and finally arrived at his friend's establishment, The Rat's Tooth Inn. At first he mistook it for a wool store, and regretted not bringing his swag, but this impression was soon changed when he was shown to the room Ratto had set aside for him. He took his shoes off so he wouldn't soil the carpet, and after making a few phone calls, spent 15 minutes looking for them again. He wondered whether this was the Princes Diana suite, or whether a previous Prime Minister had stayed here. After braving the wilds of Wagga Wagga to have dinner at the Hogs Breath Cafe (recommended by Rattus who apparently supplied the meat), he made his way back, saying to himself over and over again "Whatever you do, DON"T GO TO SLEEP!!!". He could still hear the bang as the carcass of the poor sleepy traveller hit the tin front wall of the paddy wagon. Back at Rattus Innus it was very quiet, because Rat was away, and Turbo was sure he wouldn't want such a magnificent room wasted, so he invited his truckie mates and their molls around for drinks. After an hour or so the party was in full swing, except that Turbo had to put a small fire out where one of the truckies had snoozed off, dropping his cigarette. They sent out for three more Slabs and he party really started to lift, when in walked......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 .... half a dozen Wrecks cadets. "You the bugger who's making us land into the wind?" the tall skinny one demanded, as the five foot blonde rushed up and kicked Tubbs in the shins. :black_eye: "They're even insisting that we fly three leg circuits and make ALL circuit calls!" screamed another. i_dunno "Are you supposed to be out of bed at this time of night?" Tubz asked the cadets as he handed one of L&M's lads another long neck.... ================= McLock was miffed! Not only had an occassion for a knees up gone for the wanting, Tink had cut his grass and put the fire out before Le Ratto's alarm went off.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Beware of El Gwapo And the warning went out to the people of Santa Poko Poko that El Gwapo had come to town. And as the Amigos said ... everyone has their own personal El Gwapo. For some, shyness is their El Gwapo, for others cross-wind landings are their El Gwapo, while others have rivets as their El Gwapo, yet for Motelliers the El Gwapo is when El Gwapo sends a raiding party across the border. This is particularly galling as El Ratto has been in Geelong all day and has just driven back to Santa Poko Poko, and this post reminded him that Tink is in town. Bugger, as the Rat, Turbs and Yaraslav could have gone out raping and pillaging all night tonight. Instead, Turbo has been out alone and then posting a longer NES post than the TOSG usually does on his serious stuff. (That flag is very funny there, Radavan). El Ratto is undecided about bouncing his way off to Morree, then Bundaberg, in the morning and will wait and look at the weather at Sparrows. "Tink is in town until ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 "Tink is in town until ............ ...... the cow's come home. "You got cows?", asks Tubs. "Yeah sure I got cows" said Al Ratatatato. "There camping over at the neighbours apparently, ungrateful pieces of beef, they reckon the grass is always better over that side of the fence.!" Yeah, well I don't blame em, said Tubz, looking out the back yard and seeing................. =========== Remember not to have to much fun at Bundy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Yeah, well I don't blame em, said Tubz, looking out the back yard and seeing.................QUOTE] ...a poll hereford bull mounting a white Jabiru with stars on the tail fin, to a horrendous creaking of twisting fibreglass........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 ....the ground was trembling and a flock of cockatoos took to wing in a shreik of startled cries, as the bellow of the ritual echoed along the river bank. The tail flicked from side to side and its I's began to bulge :raise_eyebrow:....The bull had a funny look on its face too. :confused: =========== Did the Rat depart for Bunderland in the Jabeyeru? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 ....The tail flicked from side to side and its I's began to bulge :raise_eyebrow:....The bull had a funny look on its face too. :confused:=========== Did the Rat depart for Bunderland in the Jabeyeru? "Why do most bulls love Jabirus?" he bellowed (with an upward inflection at the end). "I know, he though, I'll ask that in a post on the Recreational Bovine website and Forum (the home of Recreational Beasts and their Burden). And the answer came back from Vealer2centsworth "............... El Ratto has been flat out on work stuff this morning and now that the wind is up, the clouds are down, the showers are coming thru with a cloudiness index of 7/8ths, the Rat is going to make another decision in the morrow .... but he expects to bail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 "Yippe ki aye and stuff a dead horse!" yodeled BigLes. :star: "You want a genuine black Stetson wearing, big belt buckled cowboy to answer that question for you, huh?" An eerie quiet ensued as the bull ceased his affections toward the Jab and directed his attention to our bow legged hero. "It's the glue they used to make them Jabs I tell you." ;) confided BigLes. "The bull can smell the old cow hooves that they boiled down to make the glue and it's driving him into a frenzy. :heart::heart: ======== Which just goes to show that it's not only bullsxxT that makes the Jab-aroo such a legend.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 ..."An eerie quiet ensued as the bull ceased his affections toward the Jab and directed his attention to our bow legged hero. ".... paying especial attention to the bum exposing leather chaps worn with such panache and.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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