The Never Ending Story

......crack country like the pretend Major who had to land every 200 metres on the way to Fatfly.

.... where he had to locate a welder and a can of Premium Unleaded, so that he could ...............

... practice the black arts of aeromechanicing. "Ipso larum carbon tax, deliver me home sans muffler cracks." incanted miniMajor as he conjured up his best ever L2 reliability spell. "Spitter spatter, welder's flash. You break again and you're lightwing ash!"

Nearby campers were being drawn in like moths memerised by the sparkling lights and wizardry emanating from duckMajor's camp. And let's face it, what self respecting Jabatoo owner could possibly resist the potential of having a few beers around a rotorcrax fed bonfire...

All was good until....

... All was good until....

...... Andysat lobbed in a grenade by saying (with a cough and a casual but somewhat sarcastic tone) "Things would be different if .................

...... Andysat loobed in a grenade by saying (with a cough and a casual but somewhat sarcastic tone) "Things would be different if .................

........they made titanium threw bolts" and there was general laughter around Major's fire. Even Major paused from welding up the line of 27 exhausts and laughed, for the natives knew that not even titanium could harness the massive power.

Brine came in from the latrine trench with a page out of a CASTRATE bulletin. "how come you turkeys want strict liability?" he said "We don't, said the Major, Why do you ask?"

"It says here in CASTRATE Odd Spots and Pilot fups that RAA members have volunteered to take the fines for low flying, running out of fuel, aerobatics, getting lost, rolling over in high winds, and carrying three people in a Jab, even if we only think they might have done it" said Brine, adding "that would have cost me $268,000 in fines and 27 years imprisonment based on my last six months"

The welding stopped, they spat their steaks out, Plaindrivel was even seen to turn his stubby upside down, and as urgent as the welding was, because they all had to fly five nm the next day, Major stood tall, his charisma silencing the camp, his face a rictus of outrage: "WHO DID THIS?!"..............................

........ The welding stopped, they spat their steaks out, Plaindrivel was even seen to turn his stubby upside down, and as urgent as the welding was, because they all had to fly five nm the next day, Major stood tall, his charisma silencing the camp, his face a rictus of outrage: "WHO DID THIS?!"..............................

................... and who pulled the NES up in it's tracks? Was it Turps in his last post?"

"I saw it happen" said Leo the CEO "And I'm in a tizz about it" he added "So I think I'll have a chat with Sloppy & Gorgonzola and see if I can get this website shutdown using their well-known slogan "No Wuckers, No win, no grin, no show, no dough, no smash'm, no spondulics, and when their letter arrives on fancy No Win-No grin watermarked paper Eeeen will poop himself."

"What? Eeeeen has sent a response back from a proper Solicitor (as opposed to one of those street corner ones who have higher principals)." responded Tarquin the ParaLegal (who goes to the ParaSkydive Centre each Sunday driving his soft-top Porch for a tandem "Jump" (while strapped tightly to the front of his Buzz Lightyear type "Instructor").

"That's not all that's soft about Tarquin (not that there is anything wrong with that)" commented the Rodent "But he (and his Porch) are real soft c.....................

........happies which drew a glower from Tarquin who wasn't too sure what Rat was about to say.

Just then Magic Milkshake came up, and winked at Tarwin; he'd been one too (a tandem)

"Why do they call you meat bombs" said Turbo as tactfully as he could............

Bombs,,,,someone-say-BOMBS----cried-nobu-as-he-bolted-for-the-door,,,,,,this-caused-a-general-uproar-amongst-the-major/majors-miner-majors/rats-and-all-went-charging-for-the......---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------..........................

Bombs,,,,someone-say-BOMBS----cried-nobu-as-he-bolted-for-the-door,,,,,,this-caused-a-general-uproar-amongst-the-major/majors-miner-majors/rats-and-all-went-charging-for-the......---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------..........................

........ riverina ,,,,,, or wherever they thought nanna was.!!!!!!

"If we are going to be nobbled by nobu or killt by bombs (or the bums ,,,,, running the raaaaaaaa;;;;;raaaaaara#@****aaaaaa) we may as well get a quick one (1) away by .........

........ riverina ,,,,,, or wherever they thought nanna was.!!!!!!

"If we are going to be nobbled by nobu or killt by bombs (or the bums ,,,,, running the raaaaaaaa;;;;;raaaaaara#@****aaaaaa) we may as well get a quick one (1) away by .........

...casually lifting the left buttock whilst seated in the lotus position on.......

.....the smoothly tiled floor."

The effect was very similar to the landing of the Mars Rover - huge clouds of dust, since The Unspecifed Person hadn't vacuumed for years.

"That's better" said The Unspecified Person "When....."

.....the smoothly tiled floor."The effect was very similar to the landing of the Mars Rover - huge clouds of dust, since The Unspecifed Person hadn't vacuumed for years.

 

"That's better" said The Unspecified Person "When....."

...... I look down now, after all the dust is gone, the tiles are actually quite reflective and I can see right up my ............

...... I look down now, after all the dust is gone, the tiles are actually quite reflective and I can see right up my ............

-------ahhhh....... but only when I have my sunnies on because the brightness of that really reflective floor really stops me seeing the forrest for the trees.......I really need to know how to turn that on and off on demand.....Well said...........

......... Turps "And it looks like there must have been a big earthquake, as there is an enormous crack in those tiles. But why is it moving with me as I walk, .......................... and that shaft of light is more dominant than that other shaft (which he had also been polishing for the past 50 years) ................. of ........................"

......light".

"It's a Light Sabre", said The Unspecified Person, "a wig wag type because I'm a bit wiggldy waggldy"

They looked, and looked trying to recognise The Unspecified Person.

"Look at his hands!" said Loxy - "he's got two left ones"

Turbo said nothing, for he knew the awful truth, and he hoped Dazza would never have to carry the burden he was forced to bear.

The hands belonged to TMO.

Still classified by NASA, the manned space trip to Mars, of which Turbo was one of the Astronauts, had found life on the Planet, it wasn't intelligent life unfortunately, but Turbo felt it might fit in with Queensland, so he smuggled a pup back and mentored him, finding he spoke Egyptian. TMO told him it was really the language of his parents Ra and Ma, members of a Very High Civilization which was based on Mars before they were nuked out by people flying Vimanas from Ptb, and it was his parents, on a summer vacation to earth who'd belted some civilization into the Egyptians.

It took a number of years to get this out of TMO, who at first could only speak ditDot. in the beginning Turbo had wrapped TMO's digitals in bandages to hide the horrible sight, buty you know what kids are - it wasn't long before TMO was using his Iphone to send photos of them back up to Mars, and sure enough someone posted a photo, then.....

 

It took a number of years to get this out of TMO, who at first could only speak ditDot. in the beginning Turbo had wrapped TMO's digitals in bandages to hide the horrible sight, buty you know what kids are - it wasn't long before TMO was using his Iphone to send photos of them back up to Mars, and sure enough someone posted a photo, then.....

...some one found that TMO's hands were very useful for all sorts of boyish activities, like nose picking, bum scratching and bollock balancing.

As soon as this multi use tool was discovered, everyone wanted them, even the girls, which led to TMO being......

ridiculed by the Rat"Bollock balancing may have been done by hand back in the dark ages but we al know the damage that can be done to ones conrod if your bollocks are out of balance. Those old static hand balances were no where near as preciseas the dynamic vibration analysis using a series of accelerometers, flux capacitors and some thrust vector analysis. You need high speed conrod without any vibration at all.The slightest vibration can wear your ring out faster than premature...........

..............thru bolt failure" he said with a knowing leer.

TMO just ignored the Rat's criticism, because his thru bolts were made of cryptonite. The engines still blew to pieces but the thru bolts were great.

The escapees had been observing TMO from the shadows of some nearby palm trees.

"You think he Pharao?" mused Acki

"Nah, he normal" said Mitsuo, "but.................

..............thru bolt failure" he said with a knowing leer.TMO just ignored the Rat's criticism, because his thru bolts were made of cryptonite. The engines still blew to pieces but the thru bolts were great.

 

The escapees had been observing TMO from the shadows of some nearby palm trees.

 

"You think he Pharao?" mused Acki

 

"Nah, he normal" said Mitsuo, "but.................

.... TMO is not TSO'd, so he is the cheaper version, whereas Turbo is a TSO'd T(o)SSr who still thinks that possum skinned flying suits, with Epaulettes for the Tasmanian market, will sell via the Clear Prop Pop Top Trollop Shop, but what Turps hadn't reckoned on where the ................

........odd sizes in the Tasmanian market, mainly in arm length, and.............

........odd sizes in the Tasmanian market, mainly in arm length, and.............

.... a choice on the number of head-holes & collars.

"These are special good value" said the TurpsDrinker ..... "As if you order them with 2 or 3 collars (known in the trade as a 2 or 3 holer) you receive a similar number of shoulder-pads (and elevated/platform shoes), and 4 or 6 epaulettes respectively (and as a special feature you get 2 gold strips on the left shoulder (for the co-pilot), 4 gold strips on the centre or right shoulder (for the Captain) and 6 gold strips on the epaulettes for the right head-holes (for if you are a member of the Executive, or a ............................

..............bearded monster you only get sergeant stripes, you are not allowed to speak and you must genuflect............

..............bearded monster you only get sergeant stripes, you are not allowed to speak and you must genuflect............

...... which is a very popular position in ye-olde-Bange-Holme, where the sergeant's stripes come from being flailed 3 times with a ...................

...... which is a very popular position in ye-olde-Bange-Holme, where the sergeant's stripes come from being flailed 3 times with a ...................

bundle of beaded bones from a large demented rodent which was long thought extinct after the invasion of the hairy nosed escapes from Cowra just after the great conflagration of 46

"How did they find their way to our Map of Tassie?" said Nana

"Dont you worry about that" said Mavis, "Sometimes it is better if........

......you don't know. By the way have you been innoculated against the CFI virus?"...