planedriver Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 The daughter asks her Dad, "Dad there is something that my boyfriend said to me, that I didn't understand.""He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper.." Her Dad said, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick" "I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe." 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I'd just like to point out (as a married man) - that the dipstick belongs to the car, not the mechanic... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Advice Columnist; Dear John I hope you can help. The other day, I left for work leaving my husband watching TV. My Falcon stopped not far after leaving my house with steam coming from the engine. I waited for 20 minutes to see if it was OK but it would not restart. I called my husband but he did not answer the phone so I walked the 2 kms back home. When I got home, I could not believe my eyes. He was having sex with the neighbor’s 21 year old daughter in our bed. I am 42 and he is 44 and we have been married for 15 years. He admitted he had been having sex with her for 6 months and he will not go to counseling. I need advice urgently. Please help ... Sincerely Sheila Dear Sheila, I can help you not to worry. You are not alone. This is important to understand that this is a common problem that many of us have had to deal with. The new 4.0 six in the Falcons have had a problem with a new design of the water pump, but happy to mention to you that Ford are replacing them free of charge, even outside of warranty period. I hope this helps, John 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalph Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 You DO have a day job don't you bex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Of course! He likes to save young women, especially those with technical car problems through his advise columns, apart from chatting to us in his spare time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 You DO have a day job don't you bex? Sadly I spend most of these weeks at home on the computer with never ending design and paperwork, and you guys keep me sane, but back to the factory life shortly - you'll miss me, you'll see ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDQDI Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 If you are relying on us to keep you sane Bex I'm sure you are in for an unpleasant surprise 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Pedantic Spelling Moment: ADVICE: (Noun) Helpful information ADVISE: (Verb) To give helpful information. How to determine when to use the noun form or the verb form The noun form contains "ice", which is the name of a thing. The verb form contains "is", which is a verb. A verb is a word that describes an action. And for the observant, "surprise" is comes as a surprise exception to the above. OME Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Thanks OME, already knew that, obviously diterrnt check it before I hit post reply butn. I give myself for that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deskpilot Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 "diterrnt" ???? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalph Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Well OME, that is a suprice! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Sadly I spend most of these weeks at home on the computer with never ending design and paperwork, and you guys keep me sane, but back to the factory life shortly - you'll miss me, you'll see ...... Wasn't that JC's last words? "You'll miss me, you'll see!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Wasn't that JC's last words? "You'll miss me, you'll see!" It's true, see how many have been waiting 2000 years for him to come back! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalph Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It's true, see how many have been waiting 2000 years for him to come back! Gee Bex! I know you've been talking about some delays getting the engine into production, but 2000 years!? C'mon! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayavner Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Let's not crucify the poor man, he's trying 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Let's not crucify the poor man, he's trying Don't worry, I won't get cross. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gandalph Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Don't worry, I won't get cross. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Don't worry, I won't get cross. I think he nailed you there, Ayavner. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 OME. How do you describe ISIS? Is it two verbs or two actions. Do you want to be part of the actions, I don't. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayavner Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I think he nailed you there, Ayavner. At least he didn't leave me hanging 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Interesting , as this is the car terminology thread. My first car was a Morris Isis Isis was an Egyptian princess who married her brother Osiris and conceived a son Horus with him. ISIS is the acronym for Islamic State in Iraq and al-Sham. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Red, you know you can still buy those new in India ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Red, you know you can still buy those new in India ... I think there should be more of it. Looking forward to a resurgence of 50's - 70's muscle cars with lightweight replica bodies and electric motors, engine sound being provided by bitchin' big speakers. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Looking forward to a resurgence of 50's - 70's muscle cars Well the diesel version has 37hp but the exhaust exits near the rear tyres so the impression of "smoking the tyres" is there ... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hindustan_Ambassador 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmccarthy Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I once read a science fiction story written in the 1950s. Cars were very light weight, with puny engines, but had speakers to make them sound tough. And speedos were calibrated way over, to make drivers think they were doing 100 mph. It was a vision of the future, probably about now, not too far off the mark. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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