Captain Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 ....... move to queensland, the state that's 99.99% sunny, 45.31% windy, 45.12% wet, and 110% friendly..................... ..... 98% humidity - eh, 115% slow - eh, 65% not the same since Joe went - eh, 87% white shoe brigade - eh, 16% maltese cane farmers - eh, 197% backward - eh, 96% tiger country - eh, 40% limited gene pool - eh, and 100% replaced Tassy as the place most Aussies make jokes about." said Anna B. "Hang on there a minute" said Tomo who was the leader of the Cecil Pit Progress Association branch of the Queen's-land Tourism Association "Queen's-land is also ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Decca Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 “……..Queensland is also ………..part of Australia, ya know” continued the young, intelligent President of the CPPA. “As such we are all Australians” “And I shall draw to the attention of all youse that the second Pee in CPeePeeA does in fact stand for Progress. Yeah - Progress. We can’t go backwards, so we’re going forwards.” Hey Geoff did you change your flag recently? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 "Well", said Tourism Tomo, "What a hide some of you blokes have, knocking us ere in The Perfect State. :hittinghead: "I want youse all to know, that we go ahead in leaps and bounds up here and are very proud of it, and thats not only at the local airstrip. If you lot can ave a bit of a stir, then so can I.:stirring pot: Today, i've written to the RAA voiceing my safety concerns about some of you bloody Mexicans:kumbaya: who fly Sportstars and the like, wearing big straw hats to keep the sun off. Up here, we wear banana leaves which bend a lot easier and have a better fire-rating, so it not only keeps the sun off, but is easier to wear our headsets plugged into our ipods. :DJ:The "boof boof" music resonates with the engine revs and if it sounds out of sync, we know we should get down quick. We might have quite a few migrants who have settled here from India, but it's unfair to say that it's largely tiger country. In conclusion, we also like to be thorough in our communication and training skills, so would appreciate you typing a little slower when posting on these forums". "Wellllll saaaid Tomo. Speeeeeak your mind maaaate and stand up for whats riiiiiiiight " Kind regards planey Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 3, 2009 Share Posted October 3, 2009 "Today, i've written to the RAA voiceing my safety concerns about some of you bloody Mexicans:kumbaya: who fly Sportstars and the like, wearing big straw hats to keep the sun off. ...... and speaking of Ahlocks, ................. I am pleased to report that after his appearance on, and some would say dominance of, Riverina television last week as reported earlier here, the Screenplay opportunities have flooded in and Ahlocks has approached the writer to act as his agent. "I need a Rat with a Gold Tooth to look after me" he said. "No worries, mate" was my professional response "A 70/30 deal will work fine, I have already been in touch with a few Studios, and they are very interested. Darky is already editing a heap of contracts" "I've signed a deal for you to play Douglas Bader in a remake of the Dam Busters (or the Battle of Pommy Land, or whatever it was), and your excellent flying skills will save the Studio a fortune. The only disadvantage is that they are demanding realism, so you'll need to cut your legs off .... and I told 'em that you'll think about it as it could be a good career move (where you could then play the Lieutenant in Forest Gump II ..... but there might be a disadvantage in that you could get type cast a little too much). There is also considerable interest from the makers of Shrek IV where you are now 1 of 3 being considered for the starring role." "Just think of the makeup we would save by using Ah-Lo" the Producer said, "So you have a real advantage for that one." "And Locksie is also being considered for the roles of ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 ...."And Locksie is also being considered for the roles of ......... .........."a crash test dummy for a new series of 'air crash investigations' and as an automated varmint killer in the block buster movie epic..The Ratinator" ================= Lieutenant in Forrest Gump!? :Disappointed:.....you'll pay for that Rat!!!!:vis: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 .........."and as an automated varmint killer in the block buster movie epic..The Ratinator" Turbo was in Longreach carefully studying the 747, particularly for crevices where Rats may be lurking, and he wondered why rats aren't such a problem on the 747 until he realised they keep well clear of Wagga. He sat in the Captain's seat and realised the visibility wasn't as good as the Jab, and it didn't seem as comfortable, then he realised it must have been built in Eastern Europe because 3 million rivets were used in its construction, and it did have that uneasy Spartsczar feel. He noticed that Deccadence had obviously just left the Flight Engineer's station because all the oil gauges were showing zero capacity. There was an unfortunatel argument when Turbo returned with a pair of bolt cutters and a can of aerostart, but that's another story. The main purpose of his trip had been to find an alternative to the leaking submarine, but it must be said Tomo, and Turbo never put a preposition at the beginning of a sentence, that the plan was foiled by a Queenslander. Now all he had to look forward to was the return trip, cooking up a meal of road kill every night.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 .........."a crash test dummy for a new series of 'air crash investigations' and as an automated varmint killer in the block buster movie epic..The Ratinator" ================= Lieutenant in Forrest Gump!? :Disappointed:.....you'll pay for that Rat!!!!:vis: "I think you might be light, Lat" said Nobu "As I can also picture Ah-Ro with his wheelchair livetted to the clowsnest of a Shrimp Boat ..... and being involved with roose womens ..... and with rong hair + a cigar" "Yeah" said Acki "And "The Latinator will be subtitled as "The Leturn of the Silver-haired Surfer" "Listen you rot, we have a Carola-rine stuck around Midway, looking for Macka's rost gold near a V-shaped protrusion, with a mixed crew, 103 holes in the hull, a blocked head, a locked door on the dunny, old lusty livets, no lecent posts by Darky ..... and there is TheRongleachPranner swanning around Queen's Rand showing them how to fix outboards." "Don't be too hard on the Pranner" said Nanna "He's just a ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 ....... another Mexican excited about Quweensland....... and our fabulous road kill BBQ's, why you can have a choice of, Rare cooked (Fresh kill), Smoked (it's where someone got a flat tyre and parked up near the road kill, smoking it out while they changed the tyre) and well cooked (an old weather beaten roadkill). There are just way to many choices Nanna, said the Pranner, which one do I dooo............? Skippy, Beefy, Koalaery, Wombaty, Goannaery, lizzardy, birdy, Emu-y, and the rist go's on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ....err.... on! not to mention the way I want it cooked. Yeah I know said Tomo, That's Quweensland for ya, we have a bit for every one.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 ....... There are just way to many choices Nanna, said the Pranner, which one do I dooo............? Skippy, Beefy, Koalaery, Wombaty, Goannaery, lizzardy, birdy, Emu-y, and the rist go's on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ....err.... on! not to mention the way I want it cooked. Yeah I know said Tomo, That's Quweensland for ya, we have a bit for every one.......... "Hey Tomo?" said Nobboo "You got Possum Pie forrowed by Lat Lisotto (both Lare cooked flesh)?". "Noooooo worrrrries maaaaaate, EH?" he leplied "And we'll do them .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted October 5, 2009 Share Posted October 5, 2009 (both Lare cooked flesh)?". Gee, Dis Lat smarter dan he looks!:black_eye: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Decca Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 I hope you found the Flight Manual Turboboeing - and read it from covers to covers. I wonder how the Captain feels about having his seat borrowed. Was there one padlock for each throttle or one big sucker for the lot?. You should have started the APU then you could have tested all the lights & instruments, felt the luxury of hydraulically powered flight controls, pressurized the cabin to -10,000’, run out those massive flaps & leading edge devices. STOP Decca. Captain we need a Submarine Flight Manual in the subrolla because of all the confusion among the crew. Or trade it in for the 747 in the parking lot at Longreach. That would make a great sub! A bathroom each, a far more pleasant view from the conning tower with the big wrap-around windshield, and a real engineer’s panel. Decca wouldn’t have to sledge holes in the hull or anything. Turbospeeder must have traveled by car to infer “road kill”. I wonder if anyone’s had the chance to try roast or stewed jabiru as the result of air kill yet? Tomo didn’t mention that on his road-kill menu. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Proof that Deccadence was there last - note - no oil! Helpful New South Wales road signs, dog feeing on a pib in the background - it was delicious! Helpful wing skid idea for Sartipharti Japanese crew, don't worry, Turbo is building up material. Note: Turbo obvisouly failed to hold his tongue the right way, or more probably Slarti zapped the very telling photo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Try this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Decca Posted October 6, 2009 Share Posted October 6, 2009 Master off CDI's off Turn engine by hand until oil tank burps Visually check oil level.:see saw: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 ...... Clear prop! ....err....ummm..??? vacuum cleaners Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkSarcasm Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 ...... Clear prop! ....err....ummm..??? vacuum cleaners Is Tomo vacuuming the Subrolla? Darky has 3 exams down, 1 to go and a VERY sore wrist i_dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 Is Tomo vacuuming the Subrolla?... ....well, no....:raise_eyebrow: Having misappropriating his mother's Hills hoist and best linen, not to forget the purloining his father's lawn mower, Tomo was experimenting with the newest development feature of the O'Dalby Drifter MkIII. "It's a masterpiece of engineering!" interrupted dashDot enthusiastically. "With some of that yellow and blue rope that the Telstra blokes leave lying around lashed to it, you throw the Hoover overboard on roll out and vola! .....Vacuum brakes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 "So ....." said Acki. "The Dark-Casm has a sore wrist , many other forum members do too (occasionally) :csm:, Ahlocks is making bondage jokes :vis:, Darky has to face just one more Zam , and Tubbs is nowhere to be found :ymca:(but I think he is up in honourable Queen'z-rand :queen: taking part in their annual Gay & Resbian Mardi Glas :killen::Rogue::kumbaya::FeelGood:)." "By saying "annual", do you mean that it happens once each year?" asked Nob. "No, Nob, I mean that it happens all year lound" Ack lesponded. "Heck" leplied Nob "That could indicate that the Pranner might be a .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted October 11, 2009 Share Posted October 11, 2009 ....statistic:thrown out: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 Clear wings...........[ATTACH]8874.vB[/ATTACH] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Close Tomo, but Turbo was caught climbing to the top of the tail fin without a wrist band and is now answering questions...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted October 17, 2009 Share Posted October 17, 2009 Someone in general population was spreading a "no turbo" rumour. Silly buggas didn't look hard enough....:scratch head: Here he is... ...Turbo was caught .... :cool_shades: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Turbo had been to north Queensland scouting for landing grounds for a proposewd sight seeing flight, but realoised when he got back he didn't need to go a second time because he'd already seen the sights. He was still blowing dust out of his nose and picking bindiis out of his fingers, but fondly remembers once again staying at Captain's five star hotel (picture attached) He was also in trouble with Qantas after being caught using the "Facilities" in one of their aircraft while on the ground. He'd also had an embarrassment with an internet order for a can of coke to be brought to his room. 130 tonnes arrived, and it didn't matter how much Turbo apologised for inadvertently sitting on his keyboard, it had to be paid for. So all in all he was pleased to be home. However........ He was perturbed to see that in his absence, and constant friendly advise to Captain, the Rat had allowed the converted Japanese sub to cruise in ever widening circles, which goes to show the naviation skills of some Wagga pilots. The black pain was also showing red in a number of places wqhere dings had occurred after collisions with things like Taiwan, The Phillipines and Borneo. He opened the hat6ch and climbed down. The lights were on but no one was home. At tha capiatins table was a half eaten meal of cheese. From the galley came the smell of steaks just about ready to eat. There was a small pile of dust where the fastidious Nob had been sweeping. The torpedoes were set to "Ready" But no one was to be seen...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 20, 2009 Share Posted October 20, 2009 Turbo still had not mastered the simple procedure of attaching photos. Thankfully they aren't delivered in Road Trains. Care for a Coke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted October 23, 2009 Share Posted October 23, 2009 Turbo had been to north Queensland scouting for landing grounds for a proposewd sight seeing flight, but realoised when he got back he didn't need to go a second time because he'd already seen the sights. He was still blowing dust out of his nose and picking bindiis out of his fingers, but fondly remembers once again staying at Captain's five star hotel (picture attached) He was also in trouble with Qantas after being caught using the "Facilities" in one of their aircraft while on the ground. He'd also had an embarrassment with an internet order for a can of coke to be brought to his room. 130 tonnes arrived, and it didn't matter how much Turbo apologised for inadvertently sitting on his keyboard, it had to be paid for. So all in all he was pleased to be home. However........ He was perturbed to see that in his absence, and constant friendly advise to Captain, the Rat had allowed the converted Japanese sub to cruise in ever widening circles, which goes to show the naviation skills of some Wagga pilots. The black pain was also showing red in a number of places wqhere dings had occurred after collisions with things like Taiwan, The Phillipines and Borneo. He opened the hat6ch and climbed down. The lights were on but no one was home. At tha capiatins table was a half eaten meal of cheese. From the galley came the smell of steaks just about ready to eat. There was a small pile of dust where the fastidious Nob had been sweeping. The torpedoes were set to "Ready" But no one was to be seen...... ..., for they were all sitting around the Wardroom table thinking about how much Butters's Carbon Trading Sceme is going to cost them. "Not me" volunteered Tubb, "As by scouting out my planned trip to FNQ, I have saved heaps of fuel by not actually needing to make the planned journey, thereby shoving less CO2 into the phearfull atmos, and being an all-round BangHolme good-guy." "And it must be easy to sequestrate CO2 when you are at Sea Quest (not to mention being castrated)" said Acki. 'I'm not gunna let Ruddy and Julia cut mine off just so they can win the Nobel Prize on climate change" yelled Nob who was a bit hot under the collar about the extra costs of fuel for his Axe powered 64.78% scale Zero with its 65% scale rivets." "You'll be right" said Tubbs "I've read all about the CTS and you'll find that AhLo is .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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