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peeing while on long flight


RFguy

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A mate in California owned a Citabria. He told me this tale and I couldn't stop laughing. He said he took off from Wasco with his 19 yr old son on board, and headed inland to the Mid-West.

Of course, he had to climb to serious altitude to clear the Southern Rocky Mts. He told me he got to 12,000 feet, and his 19 yr old son comes out with -

"Oooh, Dad, I gotta go! - with a number 2! I shouldn't have had that big greasy hamburger just before we left!"

 

And Dad berates him with, "It's taken me 20 minutes and a heap of fuel to get to 12,000 feet!! - and you want me to put down now for a number 2, just because you didn't go before we left!?"

"I'm not putting down for that! You can go in a plastic bag!". So Dad hands him a plastic shopping bag, and Son dutifully lays cable in the bag (I can't even imagine how you'd do that cleanly in the back seat of a Citabria, but apparently he managed it).

Mate regaled me with, "STINK!! Gahd almighty, I nearly puked with the STINK!! It clung to everything!!

So then they managed to get the bag out of a window - whereby it promptly tangled around the tailplane!! Mate told me, "Gahd, I had to do some of the fanciest ahr-o-batics like you never seen, just to try and shake that damn bag off!!"

"Ah thought the son was gonna puke then, after them fancy ahr-o-batics! That would've been as bad as the number 2!!

"I told my son, he ain't never coming with me again, unless he's gone at least twice, before we take off!!"

 

Edited by onetrack
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Momentary thread drift, but concerning getting things out of aircraft in flight:
Periodically skydivers are approached by families to spread the ashes of their loved ones.
A mate of mine has been tapped several times, and the first thing he learned was not to take the lid off in the aircraft, or the result is that part at least of the deceased remains in the aircraft where he/she/it circulates rapidly in the blast from the door, generally coating everything and especially hanging up in any beards or hair the pilot may have.
The second thing he learnt, however, was to loosen the lid before you go: on this occasion he was asked to scatter the ashes of a fellow skydiver, duly left the aircraft with the lid on at 8,000ft, then wrestled with it for over 6,000ft before giving it up as a bad job and opening his canopy. The container continued in freefall, and went into an adjacent golfcourse. Where try as they might, the entire crew at the jump club were unable to find it, so it's out there somewhere still. Fortunately, the wife of the deceased felt the deceased himself would have seen this as a most excellent joke, so she went home happy.........)

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When living in the UK back in 1980 I used to catch the express train from London to Maidstone. I was busting for a number two and being the only person in the carriage and knowing the train would be zooming through the stations without stopping I hung my bum out the window. Well, going through one station I heard over a PA system "Hey you with the fat cheeks and cigar, get your head back in the window". Not a plane story but, what the heck...

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2 hours ago, Jabiru7252 said:

When living in the UK back in 1980 I used to catch the express train from London to Maidstone. I was busting for a number two and being the only person in the carriage and knowing the train would be zooming through the stations without stopping I hung my bum out the window. Well, going through one station I heard over a PA system "Hey you with the fat cheeks and cigar, get your head back in the window". Not a plane story but, what the heck...

Which brings us to the question of what train drivers do. To which the answer is the tunnels.
But also in those tunnel walls are periodic brick alcoves. Which maintenance workers would retire to when each train was due. And were they would be perfectly safe.......apart from the occasional yellow stripe across the chest.......(

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16 hours ago, IBob said:

Which brings us to the question of what train drivers do…

No facilities for them.

My neighbour drives our passenger train. Twice now, as I stepped off at my destination, he has rushed past me, heading for the station dunnies.

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6 hours ago, Old Koreelah said:

No facilities for them.

My neighbour drives our passenger train. Twice now, as I stepped off at my destination, he has rushed past me, heading for the station dunnies.

Of course.........your ancient and less lumpy landscape........tunnels few and far between........(

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If scuba divers pee in their wetsuits, then it must be ok to pee in a flight suit!! 🤷🏼‍♂️
 

I don't have a flight suit; somebody that does will have to take one for the team and report back with results.

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8 hours ago, Area-51 said:

If scuba divers pee in their wetsuits, then it must be ok to pee in a flight suit!! 🤷🏼‍♂️
 

I don't have a flight suit; somebody that does will have to take one for the team and report back with results.

oh you just reminded me of the Astronaut who got arrested,

after driving 14 hours in a nappy to confront her lovers new partner

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I understand adult incontinence pads are quite comfortable, and extremely absorbent - not that I've had to use them, yet, of course.

 

Maybe one day, someone will design an amazingly comfortable, integrated bucket seat and commode!

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After years of finding the nearest strip for a pee, I no longer have a problem.  I got a TURPS operation.  I can easily go down to 30 ml in my bladder before the flight.  Hanging on for 4 hours no problem. 

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1 hour ago, Geoff_H said:

After years of finding the nearest strip for a pee, I no longer have a problem.  I got a TURPS operation.  I can easily go down to 30 ml in my bladder before the flight.  Hanging on for 4 hours no problem. 

Sounds good........but how do you know? Did they install a sight-glass while they were at it???

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An hour ago I was down the paddock cutting firewood. Instead of ordinary earmuffs, I like to use a noise-cancelling pair streaming whatever music exites me at the moment. Right in the middle of the drum solo in Innardadavita this young stud was interrupted by a commercial break, specifically targeted at men in my age group: an ad for incontinence underpants.

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6 hours ago, Geoff_H said:

They don't let you out of hospital until you can achieve that level of emptying.   They measure residual urine using ultrasound scans.  

That's a relief, I was worried they used a dip stick...

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