peeing while on long flight

[RFguy]

Has anyone got any funny stories of peeing mishaps while on a long leg ? 

I do. I will write it up shortly. was quite funny. lessons learned.  (Cowra to Broken Hill and return) .

[Old Koreelah]

2 hours ago, RFguy said:

Has anyone got any funny stories of peeing mishaps while on a long leg ? 

I do. I will write it up shortly. was quite funny. lessons learned.  (Cowra to Broken Hill and return) .

A couple of old WWII pilots arrived at Natfly one year in a Longeze. They told us that high over Bass Strait, the front bloke had tried to use the bottle, but the laid-back seating contributed to him making a right old mess of it.
After finding a hole in the clouds, they landed on an island for a change of clothes.

[IBob]

Never fly wearing Levi 501s...........................(

[facthunter]

it wilI corrode things badly and stinks.  Some satisfactory device shouldn't be beyond your Capabilities.  Be worse if you were orbiting. Nev

[onetrack]

No peeing mishap story, but a poo mishap story from a mate in California that is hilarious.

[pmccarthy]

Use a pickle bottle, not a coke bottle. My wife will confirm.

[IBob]

1 minute ago, pmccarthy said:

Use a pickle bottle, not a coke bottle. My wife will confirm.

I'll just finish up the cocktail gherkins.............)

[Markdun]

Glen, I’ve put aside a large diameter 1 litre plastic bottle for you, although I’ve heard others had had success with ziplock polyethylene bags (including inside their sleeping bag to avoid going out of a tent mountaineering). I’ve always found avoiding inflight service or failing that landing at an alternate has worked for me.  

[skippydiesel]

Plan Plan & Plan - Land every 2-3 hrs, wee break and a walk around Oh! and don't start drinking the inflight liquids until you know you are only 30 minutes from a full stop.

[Old Koreelah]

Green tea is good for you, but not before takeoff: it goes right through in about twenty minutes!

[spacesailor]

Just imagine!.

Incontinence,  many men need an external " condom catheter " , 

Put it on before that long flight ,then relax , EMPTY the ' collection bag ' at your convenience. 

spacesailor

[sfGnome]

If you use a thin plastic bottle and screw on the lid at 10,000ft on a cold day, then when you land the combination of much higher pressure and a drop in the fluid temperature means that the bottle is now much smaller than it was… Just hope that the plastic doesn’t do a rapid unscheduled disassembly. 🫣

[rgmwa]

One of these:

Empty the acetone first.

 

[BrendAn]

12 hours ago, rgmwa said:

One of these:

Empty the acetone first.

 

That would make your eyes water if you didn't 

[facthunter]

Lid's too small.  Nev

[rgmwa]

4 minutes ago, facthunter said:

Lid's too small.  Nev

Maybe for some, Nev.

[IBob]

1 hour ago, rgmwa said:

Maybe for some, Nev.

Sigh. This was always going to turn into a pissing contest.................(

[facthunter]

Nearly always IS with Pilots.  Nev

[Ironpot]

This came up recently when I was having a chat with some survey guys - they’re flying for up to 6 hours at a time.

They using vomit bags from the chemist. $5 for 5 . Waterproof/twist& lock/disposable etc 

[RFguy]

so... have.bottle with known good bladder quantity should be good for two full bladder pees. 3.5 h flight should be OK. but it is after breakfast....
outbound morning flight with coffee in the veins , 1.5 h in, peed into the converted aluminium  gasket lidded water bottle. no problem. 

only ended up in 30 deg bank... (no autopilot)  . no issue with juggling flying, holding the bottle and other things.

 

I realised, for a male anyway, in a bucket seat, its actually quite hard to pee with control (start/stop flow from busting) 

and you get a low flow rate. just not the right position. 

 

needed to pee at the 3h mark.  OK, fine, bottle getting a bit high but OK.. only peed a tiny bit on myself. 

needing some water, I remember reaching behind into my 'bucket of stuff   and picking up the  warm bottle and thinking - yeah nah then picked up the cold bottle.

 

morning coffee , then on the way home, 0600 departure,  1st pee 1.5h in.  

then 2.5h in, 2nd pee the bottle started to overflow. ..... but I found , sitting down and after busting I could not stop the flow, peed all over my jeans and and pulled up underwear, soaked them.

not high pressure spray though,  since low flow in that position. funny. anyway, put lid on bottle and put behind me. 

 

alright, so then I left my jeans wide open, belt open to dry everything (cottons) off, it was very very dry at FL115.  everything drys fairly  quick, fortunately.

I got down to 3000' above the AD ,  10 minutes out, and decide to zip up my jeans and belt before circuit  just in case I crash, and in the wreckage they find a guy with his zipper down and belt off- not a good look - I would not want to look like I had been a "distracted pilot" LOL. 

 

so takeaway, need a bottom with a quickly sloping neck because you cant point it down there easily, and a handle on the bottle so it can be easly held, at at least enough capacity such that the bottle can be horizontal and still have plenty of capacity and not flow out the neck when horizontal.

Some of the chemists have the bed bottle, they look useful but are clear. 

something like this- IE operation horizontal is essential. 
or one of the pro bottles

 

Edited September 18, 2023 by RFguy

[spacesailor]

AHHH

I'm told by those afflicted,  wearing an ' external catheter " is so relaxing, no worries on getting to the loo on time .

spacesailor

[pmccarthy]

Now RF has "come clean", this is my experience. Hot day in a PA28 with that floor vent blowing straight up. I left it to the desperate stage as I only had an empty coke bottle. Alignment with the neck of the bottle was not great, flow control was zero and the vast spillage blew up and across me and my very sympathetic passenger, SWMBO. Unfortunately, this was ten minutes before landing, where we were being met by friends. Fortunately, I have almost no sense of smell, so was less embarrassed than I should have been.

 

It has never been mentioned again, and she continues to fly with me. 

 

Australia is much more than a large island; most of our flying is done in continent.

[Kyle Communications]

Dont forget the women as well

 

DHCare Portable Female Women Urinal Camping Travel Toilet Device 4PCS,Purple : Amazon.com.au: Health, Household & Personal Care

WWW.AMAZON.COM.AU

---

DHCare Portable Female Women Urinal Camping Travel Toilet Device 4PCS,Purple : Amazon.com.au: Health, Household & Personal Care

 

 

[IBob]

Okay, so the container is one part of the equation.
Getting to the container is the other.
And my comment earlier about Levi 501s was about that.

It happens that, when in the seated position, the fly on some trousers goes down a lot further than it does on others. And while I haven't checked the rest of the range, I can most certainly say that Levi 501s are 'others'.

So, unless one has unusually long and flexible delivery equipment.........definitely give the 501s a miss.

[planedriver]

A lady friend who was in the backseat of a Piper Warrier and got cut short, used a shopping bag and tried to push it out of the small vent hole while flying over the Blue Mountains. 

Thank god I wasn't in the back. It wasn't too successful and showers hadn't been forcast.